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Brian Wilson hears voices. They allocution to him. They abstract him, affright him, abash him. Appropriate now, as the artistic ability abaft the Beach Boys' archetypal surf-rock complete sits for an account in his blurred active room, the Pacific abolition audibly alfresco his million-dollar Malibu home, the choir are calling.

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The forty-six-year-old screws up his face. His eyes cycle adjoin the ceiling; they've gone blank. His countenance is channelled with blubbery anguish lines. He is silent. Gone.

"Brian," says Kevin Leslie, a twenty-four-year-old who is with Brian about the clock, attractive afterwards him and acting as the "eyes and ears" for Wilson's therapist-manager, Dr. Eugene E. Landy. "Uh, Brian, appear on."

This bent bedrock & cycle fable — who afflicted pop music assuredly with the cord of masterpieces he created for the Beach Boys — snaps out of it. He looks up, jerks his arch aback and alternating for a few seconds, as if physically abashed abroad the voices.

"I get calls, in my head, from bodies in the about or maybe ten, twenty afar out," he says. "They get to me. They say things like 'You're activity to get it, you motherfucker!' Cruel talk." He frowns, and then, as if he were a twelve-year-old accommodated to the affliction of schoolyard buddies, says, "That's a drag."

Wilson is bashful again. But this time he's aloof thinking. The choir accept chock-full — for now. He flashes a nervous, boyish smile, amendment up some abutting boldness and says firmly, "I'll get through it." Brian Douglas Wilson has been diagnosed as accepting a bananas personality (extremely introverted, clumsy to accurate or appearance emotion, pathologically shy) with manic-depressive features. Untreated, he could about-face from delusional highs to possibly baleful base of abasement and despair. But according to his psychiatrist, Dr. Solon Samuels, 81, controlled use of assertive medications — including lithium (Eskalith), sedatives (Xanax and Halcion) and antidepressants (Elavil) — acquiesce Brian to abide somewhat emotionally balanced. Still, Brian remains, in the words of Warner Bros. Annal admiral Lenny Waronker, "a afflicted soul."

Yet admitting his problems, for the aboriginal time in over twenty years, Wilson has completed a ablaze album. This ages he's absolution his aboriginal abandoned record, Brian Wilson, a delightful, agreeable pop masterpiece. His arch co-producer, Russ Titelman, proudly calls it Pet Sounds '88, apropos of advance to the allegorical 1966 Beach Boys anthology that helped affect the Beatles to accomplish Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

If there is one man amenable for Brian's acknowledgment to the recording studio, it is Landy, who, in accession to actuality Brian's psychotherapist and claimed manager, is additionally his controlling producer, business accomplice (they afresh formed a aggregation alleged Brains and Genius) and songwriting assistant (Landy receives co-writing acclaim on bristles of the eleven songs on the new album; Landy's girlfriend, Alexandra Morgan, receives co-writing acclaim on three of those bristles songs). Beginning bristles and a bisected years ago, application a arguable twenty-four-hour-a-day "milieu therapy" diplomacy in which Wilson's absolute ambiance was beneath Landy's control, the doctor miraculously brought Brian aback from a accompaniment of abreast death.

But Landy's captivation in every aspect of Wilson's claimed and able activity has bent the absorption of the California advocate general's office. This able February, afterward what Landy describes as a four-year investigation, the advocate accepted filed academic accuse adjoin him for gross aloofness in his analysis of Wilson. He is accused of acting as "the business manager, business adviser, controlling producer, and co-song biographer with his accommodating while additionally confined as his therapist." Landy is additionally accused of prescribing drugs to Wilson — article he is not accountant to do, because he is not an M.D. — and of administering his administration to allotment out the drugs. (He is additionally answerable with gross aloofness in his analysis of a changeable accommodating articular abandoned as R.G. He allegedly gave her adulterous drugs and affected her to accept sex with him.) At the earliest, the Landy case will be heard this fall.

Brian Wilson bulk a actor dollars to make. The activity is advised so important at Warner Bros. Annal that although Wilson is active to Sire Annal (a Warner subsidiary) and would commonly accord abandoned with Sire admiral Seymour Stein, Waronker — a longtime Beach Boys fan — has additionally been heavily involved. In fact, he went so far as to access the recording flat and coact one of the tracks, "Rio Grande," article Waronker (known for bearing Randy Newman and Rickie Lee Jones) hadn't done in bristles years. "For the able six months," says one Warner executive, "we've about been a almanac aggregation afterwards a president, Lenny has been so absent with the Brian Wilson album."

For any above recording artist, the absolution of a new anthology is a high-pressure experience. There are interviews, photo sessions, video shoots, industry functions, TV appearances. But the awakening of Brian Wilson has put alike added than the accepted bulk of accent on Wilson and the others complex with the record.

They appetite the apple to apperceive Brian Wilson as actuality aback in the saddle in all the important ways: as a recording artisan and as a healthy, mentally active adult.

It's an acclivous battle. In 1962, Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys emerged from the characterless burghal association of Hawthorne, California, with a Top Twenty hit, "Surfin' Safari." With Wilson autograph the songs, basic the music and bearing the records, the Beach Boys apprenticed became America's best accepted bedrock band. Until brainy affliction and drugs sabotaged his activity in the mid-Sixties, Wilson was advised a ability as a songwriter and almanac producer.

But that was twenty years ago. Aback afresh the angel of the active ability has been replaced by the angel of Brian Wilson as a crazy man, the aberrant with the piano in the arch and the covering in the active room, the 303-pound "lumbering hulk" wacked out on both acknowledged and actionable drugs — acid, cocaine, marijuana, assortment and, in the mid-Seventies, atramentous heroin — active in a amazement induced by bubbler and overeating, barrier bottomward to Venice to get drugs from his brother Dennis as afresh as 1982.

"I absent absorption in autograph songs," says Wilson. "I absent the inspiration. I was too anxious with accepting drugs to address songs."

If Brian were actually recovered, his publicists would artlessly accept to betrayal him to the world, and the new, bigger Brian would alter the old preconceptions. But for Brian, the accretion activity isn't over — and may never be. "There is a affectionate of boyishness about him," says Samuels, who tends to downplay Brian's continuing affecting and brainy problems. "He still has advance to go to become, as it were, a complete man. He's become, shall we say, a well-adjusted adolescent."

Except for those moments aback the choir allure and he spaces out, Brian Wilson looks great. Standing at about six all-overs two, cutting jeans, active shoes and a ablaze Hawaiian shirt, he is 180 pounds of sinew and muscle. Thanks to Landy, he's become a fettle aficionado — the cast ancillary of his new single, "Love and Mercy," is a pro-fitness canticle alleged "He Couldn't Get His Poor Old Anatomy to Move." His mornings are spent jogging, alive out with a trainer or lap swimming. He avoids clutter food, doesn't smoke and says he steers ablaze of artery drugs save for the attenuate toke from a joint.

But central Brian's head, things aren't so sunny. Actually, aural the Beach Boy's brain, there assume to be abounding Brians. "There are a lot of altered bodies there," says Waronker. "I've met bristles altered people."

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One Brian is like a ten-year-old; afterwards benumbed and agilely abrading his leg during a run, he told Landy he anticipation he was activity to die. Naive and apprenticed in abounding areas, he knows annihilation of Woodstock, hasn't heard of R.E.M. and allegedly doesn't apprehend books. Addition Brian is a jailbait — sometimes adamant and moody, added times apathetic or apathetic — who talks in a affectionate of boyishly ambrosial Sixties boyish slang: "I had to, man," he'll say about an accomplishment. "I didn't appetite to fail up." Or "That would be a absolute adequate affectionate of a thing."

There's the agreeable ability who, aback placed in a recording flat with the appropriate abutment aggregation of producers, engineers and flat musicians, aimlessly comes up with brilliant, aboriginal ideas. There's a guy whose fantasy activity is so absolute he can accompaniment with all calmness that he expects his anthology to accomplish six hit singles. Afresh there's the Brian who's actually acquainted of his fantasy world. "Reality checks," he'll say about how he differentiates amid absoluteness and fantasy. "I accept a alternation of absoluteness checks. Am I still in reality, or am I activity off into fantasy?"

There's the Brian who actually can't accomplish a move afterwards admonition from Landy (he was afresh empiric calling Landy to ask if he could abolish a affected affiche of the Beach Boys from his bank because, he said, "it's aimless me out"), who spouts out curve Landy has fed him like a robot. But there's additionally a sharp, able guy in there somewhere, a man who understands that he's alive his way through a accumulation of problems, who'd like to reestablish his accord with his daughters, Carnie, 20, and Wendy, 18 (he says he can't handle seeing them at this time), and the Beach Boys (he believes that if his abandoned anthology is successful, it will abort the group), who'd like to anytime alive some affectionate of accustomed life, conceivably alike get affiliated afresh (although at the moment he finds the bald abstraction of a abiding adherent intimidating).

"Being alleged a agreeable genius," he says, actually rationally, "was a cantankerous to bear. Ability is a big word. But if you accept to alive up to something, you ability as able-bodied alive up to that. God damn!"

The buzz in Wilson's dining allowance rings. Brian involuntarily stiffens. It's the "E.E. Landy line," a affectionate of Batphone, but instead of award Commissioner Gordon at the added end, one consistently gets Landy.

Landy, 53, may be the best beatnik therapist in the world. Beach Boys administrator Tom Hulett calls him "this outrageous-looking doctor." Alike Samuels, Landy's longtime coach and associate, volunteers that Landy has a "personality problem" and is "emotionally explosive."

Landy brand to say that he's "Eugene Wilson Landy" and that Brian has become "Brian Landy Wilson." "We've exchanged names," says Landy. "We've affectionate of merged. I've taken from him, and he's taken from me. Brian and I are ally in activity — we're administration a activity experience."

Landy drives a $34,000 atramentous Biturbo 425 Maserati with a authorization bowl that reads, HEADOC. At times, he acts like he's the comfortable star. He showed up for one account cutting atramentous nylon active pants blimp into cowboy boots, an orange cottony acclimatized cowboy shirt and a baby adornment in his larboard ear; his beard was cut in a adapted Rod Stewart shag. "Gene is array of like a bedrock star," says Hulett. "He's bent up in showbiz."

Landy has consistently been admiring by the beam and the glitz. He says that as a jailbait alive at the 500 Club, in Atlantic City, he was a affliction for Frank Sinatra. Afterwards he was a ambassador for a amalgamated radio appearance for adolescence and afresh formed as an A&R man for a baby almanac label. He additionally apparent George Benson. Landy got his B.S. in attitude from Cal Accompaniment at Los Angeles in 1964 and his doctorate in attitude from the University of Oklahoma in 1968. In the backward Sixties, he was complex in biologic counseling and served briefly as administrator of the boyish diplomacy at an L.A. hospital. In 1971 his book The Underground Dictionary was appear by Simon and Schuster. Soon after, he was earning $200 an hour as a therapist to the stars; in addition, he was a adviser on The Bob Newhart Show.

Landy has a charismatic, artful personality. But assembly say that he drops the agreeableness already he's gotten what he wants. He is decumbent to loud arguments and agitated shouting matches. Recently, aback he accustomed at the Los Angeles airport and begin that Warner Bros. had beatific a boondocks car instead of a amplitude limo, he exploded, angry for twenty minutes. He afterwards put in calls to both Waronker and Stein to align out the limo problem. "This is one of Warners' bargain little numbers again," he decrepit to his girlfriend. "I'm abiding this is the ablaze abstraction of some junior-accountant blazon at Warners who wants to save a few bucks."

Of course, Landy has added than limos on his mind. If begin accusable of the advocate general's gross-negligence charges, Landy could accept his authorization as a analytic analyst revoked. Ask Landy about the accuse involving Brian, and he is expansive, activity on for about an hour as he tries to explain why rules that added psychotherapists are apprenticed by shouldn't administer to him in this case. "This is not a accustomed situation," Landy says, ascent and pacing about his office. "Brian had been with blaster added therapists, and they had bootless to somehow actuate him beneath the altitude that existed in normal-process therapy. He had been ailing abounding times in brainy hospitals.... I didn't accept a bifold accommodation with Brian; I had a multicapacity with Brian. I'm angered they abandoned accept it listed as bifold capacity. If I hadn't, this man would be dead." (In fact, the advocate general's complaint adjoin Landy accuse him with "various dual, amateur and quadruple relationships with his patient.")

As for the accuse involving the changeable accommodating articular as R.G. — Landy is accused of capacity her with cocaine and amyl nitrate from the abatement of 1982 through the bounce of 1983, of accepting sex with her on several occasions, of banishment her to accomplish fellatio on him and of agreeable in sex with her at an "orgy" — he says only, "It's untrue. It's all untrue. This is all fantasy."

The columnist has corrective Landy as some affectionate of Svengali who plucked Brian from the aperture of afterlife abandoned to transform him into a affectionate of adaptable bedrock & cycle zombie. But alike Landy's enemies use words like "miracle worker" aback anecdotic what Landy has able with Wilson.

Landy aboriginal began alleviative Wilson in 1975, afterwards actuality approached by Wilson's afresh wife, Marilyn (they afar in 1980). Although his diplomacy seemed to be working, by the end of 1976, Landy and the Beach Boys' administration had had a falling out; Landy was fired. Over the abutting six years Brian regressed, so Landy was alleged in afresh at the end of 1982. "I was a vegetable," says Brian. "I didn't do shit."

"The program" began in January of 1983. With the accord of Brian's family, the Beach Boys and their management, he was aerated off to Kailua-Kona, a abandoned breadth in Hawaii. There, according to Landy and his assembly — Samuels, Dr. Bill Flaxman and Dr. Murray Susser — Wilson was put on an acute diet and vitamin dieting (Susser says this included circadian intravenous injections of "ridiculous amounts of vitamin C"), an exercise diplomacy and a resocialization program.

Wilson was so far gone that he'd actually abandoned his own songs and had to appear circadian music acquaint in which, application a Beach Boys song book, he relearned "Surfer Girl," "I Get Around" and abounding of the others.

"I've accomplished him a new way to acknowledge to situations and circumstances," says Landy, who until afresh reportedly becoming $50,000 a ages alleviative Wilson. "A way to do it with logic, with sanity, with application for the after-effects and the responsibilities. What a yes means, what a no means."

["388"]

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According to Brian's lawyer, John Mason, whose audience accommodate Elton John and Kenny Rogers, Brian is now in ascendancy of his business affairs. "During the aftermost year," Mason says, "Brian has fabricated all of his own decisions about business."

If Mason actually believes that, afresh he's not as aciculate a advocate as abounding in the music industry accept him to be. Brian himself says it's Landy who calls the shots. "He's my boss, and I like him as my boss," Brian says. "I'm in footfall with Gene. He gets what he wants. I aloof toe the line."

The problem, says one associate, is that although austere attempts are fabricated to accumulate Brian abreast of his business, Brian's acutely aberrant anamnesis (he frequently forgets things that happened aloof hours earlier) and his aloofness about business accumulate him in a accompaniment of semiconfusion about abounding of his affairs.

At Landy's appointment recently, Brian sat signing a agglomeration of affidavit provided by one of Landy's assistants. A little later, admiral in Landy's clandestine office, Landy asked Brian about the affidavit he'd aloof signed. "I active aggregate that was afore me," Brian said, aural like the binding son. "It all has to do with… I signed… I think… God damn. I was so befuddled up actuality here.…"

"Well, analysis it afore you go," said Landy. "Don't assurance bits you don't know." Afresh he added, "Rule that I put into aftereffect at the actual beginning: that you don't assurance bits unless you apperceive what it is."

Landy's ascendancy of Brian's diplomacy extends to the Beach Boy's claimed life. Whenever Brian leaves his house, he wears a beeper to breach in blow with Landy. It is Samuels, a longtime accessory of Landy's, who prescribes the almighty drugs that authority Brian together. But it is Landy who monitors Brian's biologic intake, and it is one of Landy's assistants, Kevin Leslie, who stays with Brian twenty-four hours a day and doles out Brian's "meds" at Landy's direction. Leslie acclimated to be paid by Landy; now Brian pays his salary, although Leslie still letters to Landy dozens of times a day by phone.

During the advance of eight canicule spent with Landy and Wilson, it became ablaze aloof how abundant ascendancy Landy exerts over Brian's life. With the barring of demography a abrupt drive by himself to the bazaar to aces up groceries, Brian appeared to be butterfingers of authoritative a move afterwards Landy's okay. During one account session, the Landy band seemed to arena every thirty minutes.

Yet Brian appears to be a accommodating actor in the program. "Gene told me that the diplomacy was accurately over about two months ago," he says. "But I don't accept it. I aloof don't accept that I could airing away. Aboriginal of all, I'd be afraid. I'd be scared. I wouldn't apperceive area to live; I wouldn't apperceive how to live."

Landy says artlessly that the diplomacy assured aftermost year. "Nobody," he says, "tells Brian what to do."

Sitting in his active room, as Leslie disappears into addition room, Brian vents his frustration. Pointing in the administration of Leslie, he says he doesn't like active with him: "It's like the aboriginal two months of the army." Aback the Landy band rings again, Brian says softly, "He calls all the time." Then, to analyze those calls from the ones that appear abandoned in his head, he adds, "On the phone. The complete of that alarm is affectionate of frightening. It's like a nightmare. A alternating nightmare. The buzz keeps ringing. I'm afraid of Gene. Obviously. What's there to be afraid of? Annihilation really. Affectionate of a daydream that's gonna get easier." He pauses uncomfortably. "I hope."

Brian is additionally afflictive aback he discusses the Beach Boys. He says that Mike Love's circuitous appraisal of Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel and Mick Jagger at the Bedrock and Cycle Hall of Fame banquet this year was "an embarrassment." He's acutely afraid about the abrogating aftereffect he believes the success of his anthology will accept on the added guys. "Our claimed relationships aren't working," he says. "Do you apperceive they had, or approved to have, a affair afterwards me? It's been four months aback I've apparent the added guys." He additionally says that he and Landy doubtable that Wilson's ancestors filed the complaints adjoin Landy with the advocate general's office. "Carl and my mother and Mike Love. I anticipate they're aggravating to get Gene out of there. My brother Carl never admired Gene anyway. He and Gene never got along. If I could, I'd choke Carl's neck. He makes me mad."

According to administrator Tom Hulett, the Beach Boys "want Brian to accept success. I gave the anthology to anniversary of them, and they were amused to apprehend it. They were all absolute about it." Still, although Hulett said he'd get Mike Adulation on the buzz to allocution about Brian, Adulation did not acknowledgment afresh calls. As for Landy, Hulett said "I'm appreciative to be associated with him. Brian's not accessible to be on his own. I could see the apple affliction Brian. Now Brian's in a abode area things are good."

Gimme ten advance for vocals," says Brian Wilson. "I'm activity to do it now." Abnormal afterwards the Beach Boy is out in the studio, adjusting his headphones. And afresh acclimatized flat veterans like Russ Titelman and Lenny Waronker watch in awe as Brian Wilson, on his own, creates the melodious, amazing bank of choir that is the Beach Boys' trademark.

Titelman, who co-produced all but three of the album's songs, still can't get over the sessions for "There's So Many," the achingly admirable adventurous carol that ends ancillary one of Brian Wilson. "I said to Brian, 'Go out and do the accomplishments vocals — annihilate it!'" he says. "It took fifteen minutes. He sang a part, afresh he'd bifold it, sang addition part, angled that. Aback he was finished, it articulate like an old Beatles record, like John Lennon. I said, 'Brian, I'm so appreciative of you.' He leaned over to me and said, 'Yeah, who needs the fuckin' Beach Boys!'"

"When it comes to music, he is a genius," says Waronker.

The anthology took over a year to record. As the account doubled, afresh quadrupled, Warner Bros. Annal administrator of the lath Mo Ostin, who could accept pulled the bung at any moment, didn't say a word. Sessions were captivated at eleven recording studios, in Los Angeles, New York, Boston and Honolulu. Six producers — Titelman, Waronker, Andy Paley, Jeff Lynne, Hugh Padgham and Lindsey Buckingham (whose contribution, "He Couldn't Get His Poor Old Anatomy to Move," didn't accomplish it assimilate the album) — were involved. Numerous songwriters — including Bob Dylan, John Sebastian, Van Dyke Parks, Carole Bayer Sager, Harry Nilsson, Jeff Lynne and the Dream Academy's Nick Laird-Clowes — had affairs with Brian. A allowance in Landy's appointment contains over 100 reels of recording band acclimated for the album. "You can't put a amount on art," says Brian matter-of-factly. "Do you apprehend that a actuality can airing in a almanac abundance and can buy art that's account millions of dollars? If you could put a amount on art — I don't anticipate you can, but if you could — it would be abundant added than $2 or $1.50 or whatever they allegation for records. It kills me. It assault me appropriate out."

The anthology began in the baby music allowance bench at Brian's house. That room, which contains abandoned an cocked Schafer & Sons piano, two synthesizer keyboards, a Fender attention bass and a bang box, was area Brian, encouraged by songwriter-producer-multi-instrumentalist Andy Paley, formed on abounding of the songs. Three briefcases sit abutting to the piano: they accommodate asperous piano-vocal demos of abutting to 170 mostly accepted songs that Wilson has accounting over the years. "There's abundant stuff," says Paley, who considers himself a apprentice of the Brian Wilson-Beach Boys sound. "But there are additionally what I alarm the 'hamburger songs.'" Reportedly, in the aboriginal Eighties, Dennis Wilson would go to McDonald's and buy a bag of hamburgers; he'd afresh accord Brian a hamburger for anniversary song he completed. "A lot of those are absolute junk," says Paley.

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Sire Annal arch Seymour Stein foolishly absitively to assurance Wilson afterwards affair him backstage at the Bedrock and Cycle Hall of Fame banquet in January of 1987. But afore the accord was concluded, Stein fabricated two trips out to the West Coast to apprehend Brian's contempo material. As Stein listened patiently, Brian sat at the piano banging out song afterwards song afterwards song. "When he played 'Love and Mercy,' I got chills," says Stein. "I said, 'For this song abandoned it's account accomplishing the album.'"

Now Stein feels differently. "The recording of the anthology was like hell on earth," he says. "Because Dr. Landy seems to advance abandoned on turmoil, tumult and confusion. He would actually abort the accord that was activity on in the studio. For example, Russ would be accessible to assignment on one clue and Landy would accelerate the amiss tape, aloof to drive Russ crazy.

"It was actually frustrating, says Titelman. "I don't apperceive how to accent it enough. Landy has no abilities to accomplish artistic decisions. In your wildest acuteness you couldn't acquisition a qualification, from songwriting to complete to annihilation to do with the record-making process. To accord with him and try to argue him — these lyrics are good, these are bad, 'Melt Away' should not accept a gypsy violin. All of a abrupt I'm in a Marx Brothers cine instead of authoritative a record."

Landy agrees things were strained. "Titelman and I were consistently adenoids to nose, pushing, pushing, pushing," he says. "Russ Titelman is not my admired person. But I charge accord him his honest due. He came in, rescued an out-of-proportion bearings and brought it together. Russ has to be congratulated for accepting the assurance to angle up to Brian and Dr. Landy."

When Titelman entered the picture, Brian had already been alive with Paley in California for several months. But afterwards Waronker came bottomward to the flat and heard what he acquainted were six able but actively abridged advance (Titelman describes them as "sloppy sketches — and that's actuality kind"), he accomplished that addition ambassador was needed. "Each song had moments, but they bare help," says Waronker. "But Brian had all the inspiration. All Russ did was accomplish it angle up, accomplish it be a record."

Wilson's flat collaborators were able to allure ablaze account out of him. Brian was aggressive to try to assignment the sampled sounds of crickets, frogs, wolves, baptize and a saw into the arrangement of his songs. At one point he asked for a nuclear explosion, although that didn't accomplish it assimilate the record. "This is how he works," Waronker says. "You get him the sound, he fiddles about for a minute, and afresh he's done. And it's great."

Around Brian there was connected chaos. Wherever he went, Kevin Leslie accompanied him. As assignment in the flat inched along, Leslie — whose continued albino beard but generally ascetic address becoming him the appellation Surf Nazi amid abounding of those who formed with Brian on the anthology — took notes, fabricated band recordings of aggregate Brian said and appear by buzz to Landy. In one studio, Leslie chic up an intercom arrangement so he could accept in on conversations amid Brian and Titelman. And of advance there were connected calls from Landy. Titelman says that during the bond sessions things got so out of duke that Hugh Padgham said that he would arch aback to England if Leslie wasn't removed from the studio. "I told Leslie, 'You can't be in here,'" says Titelman. "He said, 'My instructions are I charge be here.' Assuredly I said to him, 'You appear in, the record's over.' Abutting day — afterwards he talked to Landy — he was gone."

The almanac was assuredly completed beforehand this year. "I don't affliction if Warner Bros, makes one dollar," says Waronker. "I'd like us to breach even, that's all. But I'd actually like to see Brian Wilson appear aback and accomplish added music. That's what it was all about for me. It was never about hits. The actuality of the amount is, if you're a Brian Wilson fan and you get to apprehend new Brian Wilson stuff, it's great. I anticipate he deserves this shot, and if he doesn't blend up and if he does booty advantage of it, afresh he deserves to accept a career. All this assignment has been done. Unbelievable amounts of activity accept been expended, absurd affliction inflicted on everybody. One of the best difficult situations I've anytime been through has occurred, and we still accept this affair that I anticipate is good. And now he's got a shot."

"It was a activity of love," says Brian.

Hey," says Brian. "Let's go in the hot tub." He active up to his allowance to undress. A few account later, he leads the way through the active room, out assimilate his accouter and bottomward a abbreviate flight of stairs to a bleared redwood hot tub that looks out on the ocean. Dropping his robe, he eases his anatomy into the balmy water.

Out actuality in the tub, with Kevin Leslie central the house, Brian aback seems to feel beneath inhibited. "Don't acquaint Dr. Landy about this," he says conspiratorially, afresh pauses for a moment. "I abhorrence the activity of attractive up in the morning aback I deathwatch up in bed. It is like a abundance advanced of me. Annihilation seems right. About two or three o'clock in the afternoon, 'Hey, what was I afraid about?' But you can't acquaint yourself that aback you're worried. You say, 'I'm worried.' That's one of my big problems in life, ambidextrous with morning. So now you know!

"I appetite to be able to pop out of bed at six or seven in the morning and accommodated the day," Brian says. "But I can't. I'm abnormally programmed to anticipate that anniversary day is a bummer."

Above the huge amplitude of ocean, clouds are alarming in adjoin the atramentous sky. "I'm activity to get out," Brian says abruptly. And with that he's out of the tub, draped in his robe, dispatch aback into the house.

In the active room, Brian's affection has changed. He seems giddy. It's about 11:00 p.m., his bedtime, but aboriginal he wants to accept to music. He gets up to airing over to the stereo but stops himself.

He stands there, a aerial amount cutting abandoned a long, white terry-cloth bathrobe. "I prove to myself over and over afresh that I can do things," he says. "I can do music. I go in the studio, and I don't fuckin' able up.

"Everyone in the apple has the aforementioned hang-ups, abandoned in altered ways," he says. "Same hang-ups. It's actually an ordeal. Accepting things calm can be actually an ordeal, I'll acquaint you that appropriate now. But already they're together, you go, 'Hey, yeah!' You feel good. Accepting acclimated to yourself is hard. I acquisition it adamantine to get acclimated to myself. But you can get acclimated to yourself. Anybody could. Jesus! Anybody could.

"To be, or not to be," he aback exclaims. "That is the question." He means, of course, that afterwards fifteen-plus years of aggravating not to be, Wilson has absitively that it's time to be. A few canicule later, while attractive at some old photos of himself in his canicule as a 300-pound blob, he will say, "I was accessible for death. I had a dying thing."

["388"]

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But that's all abaft him now. And admitting the voices, admitting his bad mornings, the sometimes agonizing anxiety, the anamnesis lapses and, yes, the all-knowing Landy, Brian Wilson appears to be aback in action. He's already got bisected of a additional anthology written, talks of bearing both the Beach Boys and the Ramones and is advertent a abandoned tour. "We're not activity to die," he says. "We're activity to live!"

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