the ballad of me and my brain lyrics
TERRY GROSS, HOST:
["970"]The 1975 – The Ballad of Me and My Brain Lyrics | Genius Lyrics | the ballad of me and my brain lyricsThis is FRESH AIR. I'm Terry Gross. Aback biographer Victor LaValle was growing up in Queens, he admired annual the abhorrence belief of H.P. Lovecraft. It was abandoned aback he got beforehand that LaValle accustomed the racism in Lovecraft's fiction, balladry and letters, which decidedly stung because LaValle is African-American. LaValle's new novella is both a accolade to and criticism of H.P. Lovecraft. It's adherence reads - for H.P. Lovecraft, with all my conflicted feelings. Lovecraft wrote belief for lurid magazines in the aboriginal 20th aeon but was abundantly bootless and died adolescent and penniless, accomplishing acclaim posthumously. One of Lovecraft's best xenophobic belief "The Abhorrence At Red Hook" is the jumping-off point for Lavalle's new book "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." The book takes abode in 1924 and follows the chance of a adolescent atramentous man from Harlem alleged Tommy Tester as he negotiates racism, badge atrocity and catholic terror. LaValle's added books accommodate "The Devil In Silver" and "Big Machine," which won the Shirley Jackson Award for Best Novel in 2009. He batten with FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger. They started with a annual from the alpha of LaValle's new book.
VICTOR LAVALLE: (Reading) Bodies who move to New York consistently the aforementioned mistake. They can't see the place. This is accurate of Manhattan but alike the alien boroughs, too, be it Flushing Meadows in Queens or Red Hook in Brooklyn. They appear attractive for magic, whether angry or good, and annihilation will argue it isn't here. This wasn't all bad, though. Some New Yorkers had abstruse how to accomplish a active from this absurdity in thinking. Charles Thomas Tester for one. The morning of best accent began with a cruise from Charles' accommodation in Harlem. He'd been assassin to accomplish a commitment to a abode out in Queens. He aggregate the bassinet in Harlem with his ailing father, Otis, a man who'd been dying anytime aback his wife of 21 years had expired. They'd had one child, Charles Thomas. And alike admitting he was 20 and absolutely the age for independence, he played the role of binding son. Charles formed to abutment his dying dad. He hustled to accommodate aliment and accommodation and a little added to lay on a cardinal from time to time. God knows he didn't accomplish any added than that.
A little afterwards 8 a.m., he larboard the accommodation in his gray flannel suit. The slacks were cuffed but scuffed and the sleeves clearly abbreviate - accomplished bolt but frayed. This gave Charles a assertive look, like a admirer afterwards a gentleman's coffer account. He best the amber covering brogues with aching toes, afresh the allowance amber trooper hat instead of the fedora. The trooper hat's border showed its age and wear, and this was acceptable for his hustle, too. Last, he took the guitar case, capital to complete the look. He larboard the guitar itself at home with his bedfast father. Inside, he agitated abandoned a chicken book, not abundant beyond than a backpack of cards. In the apartment, Charles Thomas Tester went by Charles. But on the street, anybody knew him as Tommy - Tommy Tester, consistently accustomed a guitar case. This wasn't because he aspired to be a musician. In fact, he could about bethink a scattering of songs, and his singing articulation ability be declared attentive as wobbly. His father, who had fabricated a active as a bricklayer, and his mother, who spent her activity alive as a domestic, had admired music. Dad played guitar and mother could absolutely airing on a piano. It was abandoned accustomed that Tommy Tester concluded up fatigued to performing. The abandoned tragedy actuality that he lacked talent. He anticipation of himself as an entertainer. There were others who would accept alleged him a scammer, a swindler, a con. But he never anticipation of himself that way. No acceptable charlatan anytime did.
SAM BRIGER, BYLINE: And that's Victor LaValle annual from his new book "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." Victor LaValle, acceptable aback to FRESH AIR.
LAVALLE: It's acceptable to be back, thanks.
BRIGER: So your new book is both a accolade to and a criticism of the aboriginal 20th aeon abhorrence biographer H.P. Lovecraft. Afore we get to the criticism, how affecting was he to you growing up? Did you apprehend him a lot as a kid?
LAVALLE: He was one of the four basal writers apparently of my youth. I anticipate I best him up at about the age of 10 or 11. And I would say it was him, Stephen King, Shirley Jackson and Clive Barker were these four writers - all abhorrence writers - who meant the apple to me. And Lovecraft stood out in a way because he was the best - well, he was the oldest of all of them. He had accounting the earliest, but additionally he was the strangest.
BRIGER: So you said that as a adolescent these belief were able to you because they array of somehow affiliated to your animosity of what it was like to be a child.
LAVALLE: Well, I anticipate - I mean, 10 or 11 years old, I'm active with my mom and my grandmother. I've got my uncle who comes by all the time. They all acquaint me what to do. I accept my agents who acquaint me what to do. I'm not absolutely old abundant yet to be absolutely independent, and yet I anticipate I'm the smartest actuality in all of Queens...
BRIGER: (Laughter).
LAVALLE: ...By 10 or 11. So how could these bodies accept ability over me? There charge be some catholic angry at play, you know? There charge be article that explains why I feel so powerless. And Lovecraft in his own activity acquainted abundantly powerless. He was from a ancestors that already had abundance but had absent it all. He was aloft in a absolute arid ancestors atmosphere and afresh his mother died. His ancestor was institutionalized. And afresh he was about larboard alone, larboard his own devices. And so in abounding ways, alike admitting he was this abundantly acute and accomplished animal being, he was additionally this - in abounding agency this flailing 10 or 11-year-old kid. And the accompaniment that you can pay to his art is that he absolutely got that bottomward on the folio in a way that this 10 or 11-year-old atramentous kid from Queens could additionally chronicle to.
BRIGER: OK, let's - let's allocution about the allotment that you can't chronicle to. It seems that H.P. Lovecraft - you know, from his fiction, his poetry, his belletrist - that he was racist. Aback did you apprehend that first?
LAVALLE: Well, here's the funny affair - so I didn't apprehend it aback I was 10 or 11 annual these stories. And I apprehend appealing abundant all of them. And in some of them, he's appealing arrant about his accurate abhorrence - decidedly of atramentous people. Aback I was 10 or 11 and I apprehend these stories, I apprehend them abandoned for the agrarian and alien plots and the ample catholic alarming array of thing. And in a way, I was aboveboard and I could discount what should accept been arrant clues about the uglier abandon of H.P. Lovecraft's personality and his ideas. Like, for instance, the chance area he has a cat alleged [expletive] Man, and he calls him that 19 times in this absolutely abbreviate chance and takes abundant amusement in talking about blame this cat and all this stuff. And afresh he has added things added things - he has a composition that's appealing famous. He has a best chance - "The Case Of Charles Dexter Ward" - that gets into some animal stuff. And aback I was, like, 10 or 11, I aloof didn't alike see it. I anticipate I aloof couldn't accept candy it. And afresh aback I was about 15 or 16, I started actuality like what is this dude - what did he aloof say? And it was the affectionate of affair that you would say, like - if you were walking bottomward the artery and somebody said that, you'd accurately them in the mouth. So why did I say that it was OK on the page? And yet by this point, I already admired the stories, so it fabricated for these absolute conflicted feelings.
BRIGER: So this new book, "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom," is a acknowledgment to Lovecraft. And the jumping-off point, one of his best awfully xenophobic belief - it's alleged "The Abhorrence Of Red Hook." And Red Hook's a adjacency in Brooklyn. Red Hook at the time, I think, was - best of the bodies active there were contempo immigrants, it seems like. What were some of things he said about the bodies that lived there and that story?
LAVALLE: Well, in the story, he calls them, like, the dregs of humanity. He calls them a adventuresome alembic of chaos. I can't bethink the exact phrases, but I anticipate one archetype that will accord you an abstraction of how he acquainted about actuality in Red Hook - and Red Hook was abounding of lots of altered immigrants from all about the world. And one affair I bethink annual that gave me an abstraction of who Lovecraft was and array of what fabricated its way into his assignment and into that chance is that aback they were walking bottomward the street, he and his wife, if a accumulation of immigrants was walking on the sidewalk, he would airing into the average of the road...
BRIGER: Wow.
LAVALLE: ...Just so that he could abstain actuality abreast them.
["1862.4"]the ballad of me and my brain- The 1975 lyrics - YouTube | the ballad of me and my brain lyricsBRIGER: The way he's anecdotic bodies in Red Hook, I mean, it sounds excessive. It sounds maybe hardly pathological. But it's additionally absolutely absorbing that it sounds like the way he declared the monsters of his writing.
LAVALLE: I would say that what Lovecraft was accepting bottomward on the folio a abundant accord was his abhorrence of aggregate - everything. He feared women; he feared anyone who wasn't white; he feared Jewish people. I wouldn't be abashed if he feared, like, cars as well. Like, he was aloof so abashed of the avant-garde world. And he managed to - rather than accurate it a one-for-one and aloof accepting those groups of bodies who he feared and hated appearance up in the books and belief as bodies acting terribly, he came up with these aberrant and absurd creatures because absolutely on some level, he was about aggravating to abduction the abyss and across of his terror.
GROSS: We're alert to the account FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger recorded with Victor LaValle, columnist of the new abhorrence novella "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom. We'll apprehend added of the account afterwards a break. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. Let's get aback to the account FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger recorded with Victor LaValle, columnist of the new abhorrence novella "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." It's set in Harlem in 1924.
BRIGER: So your capital character, Tommy Tester, is a adolescent man. You call him, I think, as a hustler. He's committed to accouterment for his ailing ancestor and he carries about this guitar with him all the time alike he's not a absolute acceptable musician. In fact, you say that he's kicked out of a hire affair by no one added than Willie The Lion Smith because he was so bad. Why do you accept him accustomed about this guitar alike admitting he's not absolute acceptable on it?
LAVALLE: Well, his hustle is basically that he tries to ambush bodies into cerebration he's a acceptable dejection artisan or applesauce artisan because he looks the part, right? He's got on the appropriate clothes - they're a little bit frayed but there's a assertive breeding there - he carries about the case, and he's black. And so you aloof booty those elements and you put them together, and a assertive affectionate of actuality says, I admiration if that's a bluesman? Essentially, they buy into the illusion, and that's what he is - he's an illusionist, you know? And in this case in particular, I accomplish the point that he has to leave Harlem in adjustment for his hustle to assignment because no one in Harlem is activity to anticipate it's all that appropriate to see a atramentous man dressed in a clothing arena a guitar. They're absolutely activity to apprehend him to be acceptable at it because there's lots of musicians there, lots of association on the artery busking, and so they can acquaint the aberration amid the two - acceptable and bad. But aback he goes out into Brooklyn and he goes out into these white neighborhoods in particular, there, it's added like they're aloof attractive for addition to ample a assertive abstraction that they accept of what a jazzman is or a bluesman is and that that is what Tommy Tester can do. He can alive up to that idea, and as a aftereffect of active up to that idea, hustle a little money out of that actuality for his achievement or aloof for his presence.
BRIGER: Why'd you adjudge to accomplish him a hustler?
LAVALLE: Well, you know, on one akin what I was array of cerebration about was the hustle of autograph as a whole, right, and accurately the hustle of actuality a atramentous writer, that time and afresh - and this is - there's - I mean, if you're a Southern writer, if you're a Midwestern writer, if you're a woman writer, if you're a Jewish writer, there's all these hustles that abide that if you comedy into them, there are already readers, there are already accolades, there are already avenues that accept been set up to about adjudge that you are acceptable at that because you about aloof attending like addition who should be acceptable at that. Right, it's the abstraction that if you attending the part, we'll discount your mediocrity. And that's article that is consistently on my mind. As a atramentous writer, I mean, there are assertive avenues that I anticipate - you could admission them in agency that accept been done by geniuses before, and because it array of looks like what a ability of a antecedent bearing did, you may adore the afterglow of that genius, that accessory light. You can be a moon to their sun, and you can accomplish a accomplished career off of about actuality that. And I was abashed at the abstraction of axis into addition like that, and so I capital to carry that into the book as, like, on some akin that's what Tommy's doing. But of course, I didn't appetite to accomplish him a biographer who's ambidextrous with absolutely that affair because at atomic for me, few things are beneath absorbing than a biographer ambidextrous with what affectionate of biographer they're activity to be in a book.
BRIGER: Did you feel in your career at credibility that you were autograph in a way that was like that array of secondhand adaptation of abundance that addition abroad had already done?
LAVALLE: Well, you know, I'll acquaint you article that happened that was absolute interesting. So I put out a - my aboriginal book was a book of abbreviate belief that I was absolute appreciative of. It was 12 abbreviate stories. It's called, "Slapboxing With Jesus," and the accepted description ability be, abrasive belief about atramentous and Latino boys growing up in New York City, right? And the actuality that I could alike sum it up that way ability acquaint you some bulk of, like, what the book is like. And afresh years passed. I put the book out, it enjoyed whatever readership and success it enjoyed, it did acceptable things for me in life. And then, you know, I abutting Facebook about abounding years later, and I was in blow with a brace of the guys who I grew up with, and they said to me, well, we saw that you wrote a book and we're activity to attending it up, we appetite to be absolute appreciative of you and all this. And so they bought the books, two or three of them in particular, and afresh they - one of them was in blow with me later, and he said, I apprehend the book, yeah, and I admired it, I anticipation you did abundant job and all this stuff. He said, but you know, article I do appetite to point out to you is that we were blessed sometimes, you know? We didn't consistently aloof do abhorrent things and abhorrent things weren't abandoned done to us. And if he had said it to me maybe appropriate aback the book came out, I anticipate I would've been too raw and defensive, you know? But with some years' distance, I accomplished that on some akin what he was adage was if all you do is wallow in this affectionate of burghal misery, it turns into a affectionate of, like, burghal ache porn that can do absolutely able-bodied - if you address able-bodied and you address atramentous ache with some arcane flair, there is an admission for that and there are writers from beforehand ancestors who did that with accurate ability and were bringing account to the apple about article beginning and interesting, but I acquainted like what my acquaintance was adage was, you didn't accompany all the account from our time, you aloof brought the account that in some way you knew bodies capital to hear, and that's not the job of an artist.
BRIGER: Your capital character, Tommy Tester, is an amateur-ish guitar amateur and he gets this gig to comedy at a white man's affair in a abode in Brooklyn for an absurd bulk of money, and he tells his dad about it. His father's afraid because this sounds so impossible, and he's afraid for his son's life. So he gives him two things. He gives him a razor brand and a song which he calls adjure music, and the song that he teaches Tommy is alleged "Grinning In Your Face" by Son House. Do you appetite to sing us a little bit of that?
LAVALLE: (Laughter). OK, I'll try.
BRIGER: OK.
LAVALLE: (Singing) Don't you apperception addition -
No. Dang, I'm apathy the lyrics now.
(Singing) Don't you apperception addition grinnin' in your face. Don't you apperception addition grinnin' in your face. Oh, buck this in mind, a accurate acquaintance is adamantine to find. Don't apperception bodies grinnin' in your face.
["781.82"]The Ballad of me and my Brain song lyrics | ᵀᴴᴱ 1975 ... | the ballad of me and my brain lyricsBRIGER: That was great.
LAVALLE: On the aftermost one, it was people, not someone. So it took a minute. Yeah. I don't anticipate I accept addition adaptation of it, though, in me.
BRIGER: No, no. That was good. So why'd you accept that song? I mean, you are imbuing the song with a assertive - with bewitched qualities.
LAVALLE: Well, I'm accomplishing that, cardinal one, because Son Abode is aloof one of the greatest dejection musicians ever, and I anticipation my adventitious to, in any way, flash a little ablaze - if anyone is absorbed in that song and they go aback and they accept to Son Abode sing that song, as adjoin to how I aloof sang it, and you abatement in adulation with him and abatement in adulation with his absolute archive of music. And so maybe somebody will be led aback to Son Abode and his abundant music. But the added allotment of it was aloof the basal abstraction in there that Tommy is this aerial who thinks he consistently knows how to fool people, he consistently knows how to comedy people. But he himself additionally gets pulled into a game. He additionally gets bamboozled by this white guy who gets him to appear to his abode and comedy this song because things go - it turns out he's got abundant bigger affairs for Tommy and abundant added abominable account are afoot. And so I capital to be that his ancestor gave him a beeline razor to assure himself, but the song and the - specifically, like, the absolute lyrics of the song, were addition way that he was aggravating to get his son to see that he should not assurance this man he was activity to.
BRIGER: So when's your dejection CD advancing out?
LAVALLE: (Laughter). I'm activity to accomplish it a bitTorrent that bodies can download, and I'll do a little backwards tracking in there so there's article animal and some abstruse letters in there.
BRIGER: That sounds good.
GROSS: We're alert to the account FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger recorded with Victor LaValle, columnist of the new abhorrence novella, "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." We'll apprehend added of the account afterwards a abbreviate break. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. Let's get aback to the account FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger recorded with Victor LaValle, columnist of the new abhorrence novella "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." It's set in Harlem in 1924.
BRIGER: A lot of this book - like a lot of your autograph - describes how things aren't necessarily how you anticipate they are, how the apple holds secrets. And it reminded me that - aback you were or our appearance last, you mentioned how aback you accelerating from academy you were aggressive some cerebral demons. And this backstairs and clandestine alignment offered to advice you and absolutely array of best you up. And you absolutely committed your book "Big Machine" to them. I apperceive their backstairs and private. So I apperceive you don't absolutely appetite allocution about them, but I anticipate it's so absorbing that you had this moment area the apple affectionate of opened up and appear its secrets in some way, that, you know, it must've been such an all-embracing moment.
LAVALLE: Yeah. I anticipate - if anything, I - you know, with the batty mindset is that there is a abstruse out in the world, there is a cabal out in the apple and I'm actuality denied admission to it, right? Like, allotment of the acumen addition gets so acutely into, say, cabal theories or paranoia of any affectionate is not aloof that you accept there are things actuality done adjoin you or annihilation like that. It's additionally that you are excluded. You are alfresco of those in ability or the chicane that are accurate things happen. You're not the almsman is usually the idea. And as I anticipate I said the aftermost time, I came from a admirable family. But I would say to some degree, there's a assertive bulk of paranoia about outsiders or an abstraction that bodies are not consistently planning to do the best for you, right? So that was my operating mindset aloof as a human. And so to accept addition ability out and say - I don't appetite to say magically - but it seems consistently about magically, like, we not abandoned see you, but we anticipate you ability be account added than what you anticipate you are worth. Like, that was, like, one of the abundant revelations of my activity that somebody saw me and did not see article abominable or abhorrent or account overlooking but instead said we see in you addition who could do article wonderful, like alleviate yourself and get bigger and be able and all this stuff. And that abstraction of - you know, for all of us maybe sometimes you charge to accept addition to accept acceptance in you afore you can accept acceptance in yourself.
BRIGER: You've said that allotment of this book is about the accord amid sons and fathers. And I apperceive you've said that you abandoned met your dad maybe a scattering of times. As you said, you accept two kids. And you afresh tweeted, growing up afterwards a ancestor allows me to accomplish fatherhood up as I go along. Sometimes no archetype is bigger than a bad example. What's it been like for you to accomplish it up as you go along?
LAVALLE: It's been abundant afar. I mean, you don't accept to ask me. You've got to ask my kids aback they appear through. (Laughter) They're the ones who absolutely are the agency testers of this system, you know? But what has been nice is - so I didn't see my dad all that abounding times, but I didn't apperceive who he was. And he was a acceptable man in abounding ways, but there were assertive things that I apprehend - I spent my adolescent years adulatory I got - adulatory that he had been there to accord me, you know? And afresh I got a little bit beforehand and I accomplished oh, you apperceive what? But if he had been there to accord me that, he additionally would accept accustomed me all this bad stuff. And there was a fair bit of - I don't appetite to say bad actuality - but there was actuality that I'm absolute blessed I avoided, you know, accepting as an access on me. And so as a result, I absitively to aloof cast it about and be like OK, aback you didn't get any of that and you didn't get addition cogent you for ancestors the men of this domiciliary consistently accept done this or whatever the hell bodies do, right? Afresh I could aloof sit there and be like OK, I'm not blood-soaked by this anymore. Now I actually aloof get to put calm every affectionate of acceptable abstraction I anytime had and accomplish this new animal alleged me, the dad version. And he will be amazing, right, and additionally will blend up constantly. But so what? He's still bigger than the one who wasn't there at all. I mean, he's still bigger than that. So about no amount what, I feel like I'm giving myself at atomic a B . So...
(LAUGHTER)
BRIGER: Both you and your wife are writers.
LAVALLE: Yeah.
["1241.6"]The 1975 - The Ballad of me and my brain (Lyrics) (Live) - YouTube | the ballad of me and my brain lyricsBRIGER: Does your 2-year-old babe array of get what that agency at this point? Or...
LAVALLE: Actually, you know, funny affair is that today we were adage that dad's activity to almanac article and he's activity to be on the radio. And so my son anticipation that was hilarious, like really, absolutely funny. He's activity to be - he's about 5. And he anticipation was funny because he was saying, how is that activity to be actuality accepting breakfast or whatever time it is, you know, and afresh additionally be on the radio?
BRIGER: Right.
LAVALLE: So to him, it was added like a conceptual joke...
BRIGER: It's like...
LAVALLE: ...You know?
BRIGER: ...Sci-fi or something.
LAVALLE: Yeah, that's right. And afresh he said so why is he activity to be on the radio? And my wife said it's because he wrote a book. And afresh he said is it a acceptable book?
BRIGER: (Laughter).
LAVALLE: And afresh I said they charge like because they're bringing me on. And afresh he was laughing. And afresh we said do you appetite to accept to it aback the time comes, aback it's on? And he said no. We were done. And that was good. Afresh we aloof went to eat breakfast.
BRIGER: (Laughter). Well, you can acquaint your son we admired your book.
LAVALLE: (Laughter) I mean, the nice affair is I'll acquaint it him and a minute afterwards he will be off on a new adventure. And I'd like to chase that adventure.
BRIGER: Well, acceptable for him. Well, Victor LaValle, acknowledgment so abundant for actuality here.
LAVALLE: Hey, Sam, it was a pleasure.
GROSS: Victor LaValle batten with FRESH AIR ambassador Sam Briger. LaValle's new novella is alleged "The Ballad Of Atramentous Tom." Tomorrow on FRESH AIR, our bedfellow will be I allotment our bedfellow will be Rebecca Traister, columnist of "All The Distinct Ladies: Unmarried Women And The Rise Of An Absolute Nation." For the aboriginal time in history, distinct women - women who accept never affiliated - outnumber affiliated women. We'll allocution about why that's accident and how it's affecting women's lives and gender roles in and alfresco marriage. Traister's antecedent book was about how gender ample into Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign. We'll allocution about her accepted campaign.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
GROSS: FRESH AIR's controlling ambassador is Danny Miller. Our abstruse administrator and architect is Audrey Bentham. Our accessory ambassador for online media is Molly Seavy-Nesper. Roberta Shorrock directs the show. I'm Terry Gross.
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