Harvey Danger Flagpole Sitta I'm not sick but I'm not well Lyrics ... | i m not sick but i m not well lyricsi m not sick but i m not well lyrics
TERRY GROSS, HOST:
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I'm Not Sick but I'm Not Well - YouTube | i m not sick but i m not well lyricsThis is FRESH AIR. I'm Terry Gross. You could about say my guest, Fred Hersch, alternate from the dead. He's a applesauce artisan and artisan who has had HIV for added than 30 years. The assay came at a time aback he was cerebration he was accessible to appear out. It's adamantine to anticipate of accession applesauce artisan who was out at the time. Hersch's new account "Good Things Appear Slowly" is about what it was like to be closeted in the applesauce world, and afresh appear out as gay and as accepting AIDS.
There's been periods of his action aback he's been actual sick. The affliction was in 2008 when, in the achievement of befitting him alive, doctors put him in a medically induced blackout for seven weeks. Aback he emerged, he couldn't walk, talk, eat or lift an arm. He fabricated a apathetic but arresting improvement and was able to acknowledgment to basic and performing.
Hersch has alert been voted Applesauce Pianist of the Year by the Applesauce Journalists Association. He teaches at Rutgers University and aforetime accomplished at the New England Conservatory. In accession to his new memoir, he has a new anthology alleged "Open Book." It includes him arena Monk's agreement "Eronel."
(SOUNDBITE OF FRED HERSCH PERFORMANCE OF THELONIOUS MONK'S "ERONEL")
GROSS: Fred Hersch, acceptable aback to FRESH AIR. I adulation the way your account starts because it's such a abundant archetype of the abnormal position you were in aboriginal in your career as a closeted applesauce musician. You were arena in the pit bandage of a amphitheater and in what sounds like a affair esplanade - a esplanade with a afflicted Eiffel Tower and lots of rides. And so the appearance that you were arena piano in was alleged "Hit-Land USA!" and it was covers of boilerplate pop hits. And you address about the aberration amid the singers in the appearance and the associates of the band. Call the aberration for us.
FRED HERSCH: Well, best of the singers were acceptance or graduates of the bounded Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music, which has a actual accomplished music amphitheater program. So they were basically working, honing their chops. You did seven shows a day, six canicule a week. So that's 42 shows a day for a 15-week season, so you can brainstorm how abounding times we had to comedy this aforementioned show.
The musicians in the pit were mostly bounded applesauce musicians or aerial academy music teachers. You know, they were talking about Cincinnati Reds and cars. And afresh the gay guys in the appearance were lip-synching to Judy Garland and Bette Midler, and actuality actual backbiting with anniversary other. It was actually absolutely a conundrum. Like, I apperceive that I'm not this, but I apperceive that I'm not that either. And I anticipate that was article that played out in my action for abounding years afterwards.
GROSS: Right, so you weren't lip-synching to Judy Garland records. At the aforementioned time, you weren't bedeviled with cars and girls like (laughter) the associates of the band
HERSCH: Yeah, I'm apparently the abandoned gay guy who's never endemic a Barbra Streisand record.
GROSS: (Laughter) So did you feel like you should try to fit in one ancillary or the other?
HERSCH: I'd say that I was added absorbed in applicable in with the applesauce guys because that was my passion. Given the way that I developed as a adolescent musician, as an improviser and a artisan at a actual adolescent age, applesauce was appealing abundant an ideal use of the skillsets that I acquainted I had. And the applesauce adeptness was actually a subculture. It was, you know, little clubs, and no money and affectionate of air-conditioned applesauce admirers and, you know, absorbing array of musicians, ages, races, levels of ability. But I acquainted like it was this actually air-conditioned club that I capital to accord to.
GROSS: So what did you do to try to fit in with the applesauce musicians afterwards absolute that you were gay? Because you were abashed to accede that.
HERSCH: Well, I was abandoned 18 or 19 years old so, I mean, it was not abnormal to - you know, not be accepting a adherent or actuality complex in a accord at that age. I aloof - in Cincinnati, I was beneath the bubbler age, so I couldn't go to gay bars. And, frankly, then, the abstraction of action to a bar and acrimonious up a drifter was article that I actually couldn't blanket my arch around. But blind out on the applesauce arena six nights a week, and arena the piano all day and acquirements from the earlier musicians was article that I took to like a avoid to water.
GROSS: How did you aboriginal ascertain you had an ear for music?
HERSCH: Well, the fable goes - and I'm not so abiding how this - accurate this is, but that aback I was about 3 or 4, I got up on the piano and best out the affair from "The Huckleberry Hound Show."
GROSS: (Laughter) That's a animation show.
HERSCH: Yeah, a Hanna-Barbera appearance - and got chic piano acquaint at age 4, but it was appealing ablaze that I was, you apperceive - bare a clandestine teacher. And so I advised with one of the bounded classical piano heavyweights. But the best affair that my parents did for me was, from third brand through the seventh grade, I had clandestine approach and agreement lessons. So I had account analysis, basic in altered styles, counterpoint, four-voice writing, penmanship.
So by the time I was out of elementary school, I had a toolkit that apparently a academy apprentice or green at a conservatory would have. And I consistently admired accurate up my own music. It aloof articulate like classical music because that's actually what I was alert to.
GROSS: So how did you ascertain jazz? You'd been arena in pit bands, in, you know, choruses, actuality like that - pop tunes.
HERSCH: Well, we had a aerial academy applesauce ensemble, which I played with. And I went abroad to advanced arts academy at Grinnell Academy in Iowa. And I had a piano abecedary and a brace of accompany who were into jazz. I started alert to records, affairs books, action to the academy almanac store, acquirements about the music. And I was aback in Cincinnati, and I stumbled into this little applesauce club alleged the Ancestors Owl. And I heard this admirable tenor saxophone amateur arena with a quartet. And I, for some reason, anticipation that I would be able to sit in with them. So I said, can I comedy a tune? And he said, what do you know? I said, I anticipate I can comedy "Autumn Leaves." So I played "Autumn Leaves" and didn't comedy it actual well. I don't anticipate I had a abundant ability of accent at that point in my life.
And afterwards that performance, the tenor saxophonist, a little guy alleged Jimmy McGary, took me to the aback allowance and he played me a Duke Ellington record, "Live At Newport," (ph) that has a clue "Diminuendo" and "Crescendo In Blue" on which the abundant tenor saxophonist Paul Gonsalves plays 26 choruses of blues. And bodies are action crazy. It's hysteria. And the action is architecture with every chorus. And he took the aggravate off at the end of the clue and said, that's time. And already you get your time calm and apprentice some tunes, you can appear back.
So with cipher to adviser me, as I had no gay role models - I had no role models in the applesauce apple either - I went to the bounded acclimated almanac shop, and I bought 12 or 13 albums that had "Autumn Leaves" on them, and listened to them all and accomplished that they were all great. None of them was the best. They were all claimed - altered interpretations. And I accomplished that, you know, maybe this is a music area I can actually be an individual.
GROSS: So you go to New York. You alpha arena in clubs, including Bradley's, which was acclaimed for accepting pianists accomplish there, and you alpha arena in clubs including Bradley's, which was acclaimed for accepting pianists accomplish there, and you were advised by Whitney Balliett there, who declared you as a slender, bearded, crooked artisan of a pianist. Beautiful. Like, so quotable. (Laughter) Absolute blurb.
Except you were afraid about the crooked allotment because ablaze is additionally acclimated in the announcement ablaze in the loafers, which is a affectionate of cheeky word. It was a cheeky byword for anecdotic somebody who is gay. So you didn't apperceive how to booty it. You weren't abiding if he was affectionate of cautiously implying in a aspersing way that you were gay. Go ahead.
HERSCH: This is article that, you know, has been a affair in my accomplished career that's taken me abounding years to resolve. Bodies will appear up to me afterwards concerts and say, wow, you articulate beautiful. And for so abounding years, I capital to apprehend article else. I capital to hear, you know, that I was accepted or I was accomplishing this, that and the other, but adorableness in music and lyricism may be things that I had internalized as coded for gay, like aback I get a analysis that says afflicted or lyrical.
I mean, I accept to accede that that is array of how I play. And I do accept a accurate blow whether you alarm it ablaze or whatever, but it is my complete for sure. It took me abounding years to get over aggravating to prove myself that I could do these added hard-swinging kinds of rhythmically arduous things too, and for bodies to accord me the backdrop for actuality able to do that as able-bodied as comedy lyrically and beautifully.
GROSS: You address that your life, already you actually got into jazz, that your action revolved about the music and about accepting high, which at the time seemed all of apiece to you. What were the agency in which they seemed connected? And we're talking about the aboriginal 1970s here?
HERSCH: Yeah, we're talking about '73, '74-ish, aboriginal '75. Well, I was, you know, built-in in '55 and - and apparent pot and all of that aback I was about a ninth or tenth-grader and '71 or '72. And I begin that edger was actually an ideal biologic for listening. It helped focus my hearing. It's a abhorrent achievement drug, but it was actually acceptable for listening. So there were a brace of earlier applesauce musicians, maybe four or bristles years earlier than I, who had amazing vinyls. They had aloof all these abundant applesauce annal and abundant weed.
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I'm Not Sick But I'm Not Well Lyrics | i m not sick but i m not well lyricsSo I would spend, you know, best evenings or afterwards the gig that I ability be accomplishing with these guys aloof sitting about till all hours aloof accepting aerial and arena sides. And afresh the abutting day I would sit at my piano and aloof try to, you know, approach some of the pianists that I loved, you know, affectionate of inexactly assuming them.
GROSS: There's - there's a arena in your book area you call accepting aerial with the abundant trumpeter and accompanist Chet Baker. And this is about heroin. Like, he's cutting up. You're amusement it. And I'm cerebration as I'm account this, did Chet Baker, who had been absorbed for a fair bulk of his developed life, did he accept any abstraction that you, this adolescent musician, had never done heroin afore and that you risked acceptable an aficionado at that moment? I mean, what was the sense, if any, that the earlier applesauce musicians had about attention adolescent bodies from acceptable addicted?
HERSCH: Honestly, I don't anticipate they had any faculty about it. Aback I started arena in bands, decidedly with Joe Henderson, I acquainted like as the, you know, inferior cat in the band, I should consistently accompany a little bit of coke for Joe to accept aloof as a, you know, affectionate of as a nice action as the new guy on the team. But I don't anticipate Chet Baker actually anticipation too abundant about his behavior and how it afflicted anyone.
The abandoned actuality who anytime said annihilation to me, abnormally enough, was Jimmy McGary aback in Cincinnati. And he took me abreast one night and he said, look, whatever you appetite to do afterwards the gig - get high, get bashed (inaudible) appetite - but don't accompany it on the bandstand because you're action to end up like me. He said, I could accept gone to New York. I ability accept fabricated article of myself but I've got a bubbler problem. And I anticipate you should actually abstracted your biologic use from what you do on the bandstand.
GROSS: And that was accessible to apprehend that from him.
HERSCH: Yeah. I've never, anytime had a booze and gotten on stage.
GROSS: Did you anytime use heroin again?
HERSCH: No. That was one and only.
GROSS: How did you breach abroad from it aback so abounding people, already they start, can't stop?
HERSCH: I knew that I had an addictive personality. My father's had problems with alcohol. He doesn't drink. Actually I've been besetting with sex, with aliment all my life, and I aloof anticipation if I go bottomward this aerial hole, I don't apperceive if I'll anytime acquisition my way out because it was so great. I aloof anticipation this is about too great.
GROSS: Well, let's booty a abbreviate breach here, and afresh we'll allocution some more. If you're aloof abutting us, my bedfellow is pianist and artisan Fred Hersch. He has a new account alleged "Good Things Appear Slowly." We'll be appropriate back. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF FRED HERSCH'S "VOLUME ONE: FRED'S SONGS/SONG WITHOUT WORDS #1: ARIA")
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you're aloof abutting us, my bedfellow is pianist and artisan Fred Hersch. His new account is alleged "Good Things Appear Slowly." It's about his action as a applesauce artisan and it's about his action as a gay man accurate his way through the applesauce world. Aboriginal on in his career, that was a time aback bodies weren't out in the applesauce world. I mean, let abandoned in the beyond apple but actually not in the applesauce world. And additionally in the 1980s, he had HIV. So he's been alive with HIV for added than 30 years. And aback in - what year was it, Fred, that you were in a blackout for a brace of months?
HERSCH: 2008.
GROSS: Yeah. So we'll allocution about that a little bit later. Well, I appetite to get aback to your aggravating to bulk out area you fit in in the world. You went to summer camp, a afflicted for boys in Maine. And this was additionally the aeon aback you were sexually advancing of age. And so actuality you were thinking, you know, alive that you were gay, not absent to acquaint anybody, not accessible to act on it yet. And you're amidst by boys, generally naked boys because it's summer camp. Were you afraid that you would accord yourself away, that you would do something, that somebody would apprehension article about you and they'd apperceive that you were gay and that would be - I'm abiding you were afraid at that time that that would be a bad affair if they begin out.
HERSCH: For sure. I - there were actually no role models aback then. There were no out gay bodies that I knew of. Either about or in the ball or in my life, there were no gay men that I knew. I anticipate I got a assertive bulk of cred from the band because I was acutely a piano adept and played for the show, and I excelled at pond and a brace of added sports I was appropriate at. So I anticipate I got added or beneath larboard alone. I didn't feel best on too much. But, you know, aggregate - I acquainted actual secretive, and my allure to men was a actual affectionate of artful thing.
GROSS: Your aboriginal abiding admirer - you were still, like, aggravating to authorize yourself as a applesauce artisan at that time and you were still in the closet and you acquainted like you had to adumbrate the relationship. How do you do that? How do you adumbrate a relationship? Like, you acquaint a abundant story. You told this on our appearance years ago. But I'm action to ask you to acquaint it afresh about - you were arena with Stan Getz at the time. He came over to your accommodation to rehearse, and you accomplished - what did you realize?
HERSCH: I accomplished that there were two toothbrushes in the bathroom, one for me and one for Eric. And as Stan was walking bottomward the anteroom into my loft, I went and I hid Eric's besom because I thought, oh, if he notices two toothbrushes, he'll think, oh, maybe there's somebody abroad here. I mean, it was aloof actually insane.
And aback he left, I affectionate of went aback in and array of looked at the bath and I said, you know, that was my aboriginal clue that, you know, this has got to stop. Like, he is the abundant Stan Getz, and I adore him for his amazing musicianship. But, you know, if he has a botheration with me actuality gay, well, afresh it's his botheration and it's not my problem. So that was aloof the alpha of thinking, you know, maybe there's a way to accommodate all of this and not be so secretive.
GROSS: That does not beggarly that you came out to Stan Getz, appropriate (laughter)?
HERSCH: No, I did not appear out to Stan Getz, no.
GROSS: My bedfellow is applesauce pianist and artisan Fred Hersch. His new account is alleged "Good Things Appear Slowly." His new anthology is alleged "Open Book." Afterwards we booty a abbreviate break, we'll allocution added about advancing out as gay and as accepting HIV, and we'll allocution about his bigger bloom crisis - aback he was put in a medically induced coma. I'm Terry Gross, and this is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF FRED HERSCH'S "VOLUME THREE: COLE PORTER/FROM THIS MOMENT ON")
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. I'm Terry Gross, aback with applesauce artisan and pianist Fred Hersch. He has a new account about what it was like to alpha his career in the closet and afresh be one of the aboriginal applesauce musicians to appear out. He additionally came out as accepting HIV. He was diagnosed about 30 years ago. Hersch additionally has a new anthology alleged "Open Book."
When did you alpha advancing out?
HERSCH: Well, I think, it's, you know, best bodies will acquaint you it's a process. I anticipate there's array of three stages of advancing out. The one date is aback you acquaint your aboriginal person. And that's - you know, you're cat-and-mouse for the absolute time and aloof the appropriate actuality and aloof the appropriate words to say, you know, to say that you're gay. And you don't apperceive how it's action to go, and you're nervous.
And the additional date is aback you accept that everybody knows and cipher cares. And afresh the third date is that, you know, aback somebody talks about their wife or adherent or children, you allocution about your accomplice and it's aloof a absolute non-issue.
And I did acquaint my parents actual aboriginal on afterwards I'd confused to Boston. I was 19. I told them. And accompany of mine, of course, knew. But I didn't actually appear out in the huge way that I did in the accessible until 1993, in affiliation with a account action I did for an AIDS casework organization. And that became actually a ample story. I anticipate we may accept alike talked at that time.
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Im Not Sick But Im Not Well 歌詞Lit ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 | i m not sick but i m not well lyricsGROSS: We did. We did.
HERSCH: And, you know, it was all over, you know, CNN and Newsweek. And I was talking not abandoned about actuality a gay applesauce artisan but actuality a artisan or a artisan with HIV, which at that point was a afterlife sentence, really.
GROSS: Yeah. And to my knowledge, you were the aboriginal applesauce artisan to appear out and booty an activist position about it and to booty an activist position about HIV.
HERSCH: I'd say that that's apparently accurate because I acquainted like, OK, how abounding added years do I accept left? You know, maybe by actuality out and continuing to aloof do what I do affectionate of with a vengeance, as if my action depended on it - which it array of did - maybe I can advice somebody abroad who's disturbing with whether or not to appear out.
And I was - there were some abhorrence stories, accompany of abundance who had HIV that said, oh, aback I get sick, my ancestors will booty affliction of me. And then, in fact, their families disowned them. And I actually acquainted that you charge to be out about who you are as a actuality and what you're ambidextrous with so that you apperceive aback the chips are down, who's action to be there for you. And don't accept that it's action to be your biological family.
GROSS: Some musicians said to you basically, it's air-conditioned that you're gay. That's fine. Aloof don't hit on me. So what was your acknowledgment aback they did that to you?
HERSCH: You know, I'd say, don't adulate yourself, I mean, in my mind. Occasionally I would say it out loud, but, you know, that's aloof - that's such - so ridiculous. It's like all this nonsense with transgendered bathrooms, you know, it aloof doesn't accomplish any sense.
GROSS: You know, you address that aback you were diagnosed with HIV and you knew you had HIV because of your T-cell count. And this was afore there was actually a analysis for HIV, so you didn't accept the empiric accuracy but, you know, the empiric evidence. But still, you knew it. Your doctor knew it. And you address that at that time, you had adverse impulses of abandonment and recklessness. Can you call those adverse impulses and how they afflicted your behavior and your moods?
HERSCH: Well, I mean, it wasn't a abruptness aback I begin out because I had been alive sexually and afore we knew about safer sex practices. I was not actually accomplishing them. So it wasn't too abundant of a shock, but it additionally meant that, you know, I was on this affectionate of treadmill branch appear death. And so I affectionate of spent a lot of time accepting as abundant sex as possible.
GROSS: I aloof appetite to interject actuality that in the book, you say that you would acquaint your accomplice and it was safe sex.
HERSCH: Right.
GROSS: Yeah.
HERSCH: As anon as I knew what safe sex practices were, I accomplished them. I never advisedly adulterated anybody. And fortunately, I mean, I apperceive some bodies who had one animal appointment and that acquired them to be infected, and I didn't accept that issue. It could accept been any one of a cardinal of situations area I'd become infected. So I aloof didn't accept to abide on area or when, it was aloof - that was the fact. That's what it was. There was no treatment.
GROSS: Already you came out, did added applesauce musicians alpha advancing out to you but ask you to accumulate that a secret?
HERSCH: Yes, a cardinal did. And a cardinal went public. The vibraphonist Gary Burton comes to mind. So I affectionate of jokingly accredit to myself as affectionate of the den mother for gay applesauce musicians or musicians with HIV. I'm somebody that, you know, I've accustomed actually emails and algid calls like, this is what I'm ambidextrous with. How did you accord with it? Can you accord me any suggestions?
GROSS: And were you able to?
HERSCH: I anticipate so. I mean, I'm not a amusing worker, but I anticipate I was able to get some bodies into analysis who were afraid or affectionate of had their arch in the beach about analysis and about their condition.
GROSS: If you're aloof abutting us, my bedfellow is artisan and pianist Fred Hersch. He has a new account alleged "Good Things Appear Slowly." And he has a new anthology alleged "Open Book." We'll be appropriate back. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you're aloof abutting us, my bedfellow is artisan and pianist Fred Hersch. He has a new account alleged "Good Things Appear Slowly." And it's not abandoned about his action in jazz. It's additionally about his action in applesauce as a gay man and his action with HIV, which he's had for added than 30 years.
So you've had periods, because of HIV, aback your bloom has been actual bad. You advance assorted infections. You advance diabetes. In 2008, your doctor appropriate that you booty a medical anniversary from the drugs that you were on because they accept such abhorrent ancillary effects. And during that period, the virus adulterated your academician and you fell into a accompaniment of psychosis. What were some of the things you bethink experiencing in that certifiable state?
HERSCH: Yeah. It's actual odd. As crazy as I was, I bethink about all of it. I wandered about the halls of our attic architecture afterwards clothes on. I deleted all my emails in the average of the night. I was assertive that addition would sue me and booty abroad my piano. I was assertive that the checkout bodies at the bounded bazaar had a cabal adjoin me. I was actually paranoid, delusional.
Just - I anticipate it was actually adamantine on Scott because he was in alum academy at the time. And he'd appear home, and he never knew what he'd appear home to. I would be dismissive or bad-tempered or beggared or aloof apparent crazy. And I anticipate that was really, actually boxy on him. And he did what you're declared to do aback you are ambidextrous with somebody whose nuts, you aloof accede with them.
You know, so he aloof was actual complete about it. And he would aloof accede with me And be abutting aback he bare to be because I bare that. But he was actual acute to how to accord with somebody who's actually - has AIDS-related dementia.
GROSS: And afresh he got you to the hospital area you were treated. And actual me if I'm amiss here, but you were in a blackout for a few canicule during that period. Afresh you got - went aback home and eventually developed a abhorrent infection, and you became septic. You went aback to the hospital. And afresh you were in a blackout for - what? - six weeks.
HERSCH: Well, actually, the way it happened is New Year's Eve Day, 2008, I was accepted to St. Vincent's. And I was in array of a semi-coma for about 10 days, area they gave me able anti-psychotics. They additionally switched my anti-retroviral drugs and eventually that suppressed my viral load, which is the admeasurement of the action of the virus in your body. It suppressed it. And it's remained suppressed all these years aback that time.
And afresh I affectionate of rebounded. And in March - by March, the anti-psychotics were working. I was activity good. I was autograph music. I was touring again. And afresh in aboriginal June, I developed a pneumonia that has annihilation to do with the pneumocystis pneumonia that abounding bodies with AIDS were getting, which is bacterial. This is a viral pneumonia. And it went untreated.
And by the time I was accepted to St. Vincent's ER and afresh the ICU, I was in catchbasin shock agency failure. They said I could actually alive or die at that point. And that's what led to the two-month coma.
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Harvey Danger Flagpole Sitta LYRICS avi - YouTube | i m not sick but i m not well lyricsGROSS: Were you - did you abatement into a blackout or was it a medically-induced coma?
HERSCH: It was a medically-induced coma. There was so abundant infection in my body. They anticipation if they could shut it down, maybe they could acquisition the source. And afresh they would accompany me back. But it aloof took much, abundant best than they expected.
GROSS: Afterwards you recovered, you did a achievement that was alleged "My Blackout Dreams." And that's accessible on DVD. And these are compositions - some with lyrics, some active - aggressive by dreams that you had while you were in a coma. I appetite to comedy one of them. And this is alleged "Dream of Monk."
And you address in your book that whenever you do a set in a performance, you usually comedy article by Thelonious Monk. He's been a actual important artisan to you. And you can apprehend a lot of Monk in this composition. But there's a lot of abandonment in it, too. Would you allocution a little bit about the dream that you had that Monk ample into you and how you approved to adapt that into this composition?
HERSCH: As I anamnesis this dream, I'm in a allowance - a affectionate of ample allowance - and it's semi dark. And I'm in a cage that's 5 anxiety by 5 feet. So I can't angle up or lie bottomward straight. And I attending over in this dim light. And I see accession cage to my larboard eye, which is hardly larger, and in which is Thelonious Monk. And we don't actually accede anniversary other, but I apperceive he's there.
And at one point, a man comes into the room, turns on the ablaze so that it's actual bright. (Inaudible) anniversary some music arrangement cardboard and a pencil and says, whoever can address a tune aboriginal will be released. So naturally, I appetite to get out of my cage. I aloof alpha writing. And I accomplishment my tune in 10 or 15 minutes.
And afresh I attending over at Monk, and he's still attractive at the pencil. But if you've anytime apparent pictures of Thelonious Monk on almanac covers or - he has this array of ambiguous Cheshire Cat affectionate of smile. And he's aloof attractive like that very, you know, candied and enigmatic.
And so aback I wrote the tune "Dream Of Monk," I acclimated a accessory that I use that's affectionate of like acceleration autograph for authors. And I set a kitchen timer to 45 minutes. And afresh I try to get the tune out as bound as I can because, to me, that's as - I appetite to accomplish it as abutting to the acceleration of architecture as I can possibly accomplish it. So this tune came out in about 15, 20 minutes.
GROSS: Well, it's absorbing because you had a timer, basically, aural the blackout dream. You had to address fast in adjustment to get out so that you could exhausted Monk.
HERSCH: Right. So I capital to affectionate of simulate that bearings and a little bit of agitation and additionally aloof absent to, you know, get it done.
GROSS: OK. So let's apprehend it. And this is alleged "Dream Of Monk" from the beyond allotment by Fred Hersch alleged "My Blackout Dreams."
(SOUNDBITE OF FRED HERSCH'S "DREAM OF MONK")
GROSS: That's pianist and artisan Fred Hersch at the piano. The agreement is alleged "Dream Of Monk," and it's from his continued assignment "My Blackout Dreams." You're in your 60s. You're - what? - 64 now - '3?
HERSCH: Sixty-one.
GROSS: Sixty-one, OK. As you address in your book, axis 60 is a crisis for a lot of bodies because they abhorrence this means, like, they've gotten old, or they're on their way to acceptable old. But it wasn't a crisis for you.
HERSCH: It was a complete celebration. I didn't apprehend to be 40. I didn't apprehend to be 50. I didn't apprehend to be 60. And actually, aback I've recovered from the coma, I feel like my arena is, in every accessible way, better. I anticipate it's deeper. I don't - I'm not cocky - so self-critical or judgmental about what I play. I feel like my career has blossomed.
You know, the appellation of the account "Good Things Appear Slowly" has a bifold meaning. I anticipate it's - it has - it says article about my career that I've affectionate of ashore with what I do all these years. And now the critics and the audiences and everybody is array of advancing about to me. But also, aback I was accepted to St. Vincent's Hospital, and they affectionate of carted me away, and Scott was cat-and-mouse there, apprehensive if I was action to alive or die, at some point, one of the doctors in the ICU said, acceptable things appear boring in the ICU but bad things appear fast.
So, you know, I don't get up every morning and say, acclaim the Lord. I appetite my espresso. You know, I get cranky. I don't like to fly. Action is not perfect, but I am, on balance, acutely grateful. And the bottle is added than half-full.
GROSS: Fred, how is your bloom now?
HERSCH: Acknowledge you for asking. My bloom now is bigger than it was 25 years ago. I'm accomplishing actually great. I do booty added than 30 pills a day. I accept to do some insulin every night, but I accept affluence of energy. I'm touring a lot. I accept a lot of abundant agreeable opportunities.
I'm actually - it's actually affectionate of afraid me how able-bodied I'm doing. And alike factoring in the actuality that I'm blame the chief aborigine status, I feel much, abundant younger. I feel like I'm accepting bigger at what I do, in some ways. And I'm aloof attractive advanced to the abutting thing, whatever that is - the abutting project.
GROSS: I'm actually animated to apprehend that you're accomplishing well, and it's a nice agenda to end on. Fred Hersch, acknowledge you so much.
HERSCH: Acknowledge you.
GROSS: Fred Hersch is the columnist of the new account "Good Things Appear Slowly" and has a new anthology alleged "Open Book." This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF FRED HERSCH'S "VOLUME ONE: FRED'S SONGS/UP IN THE AIR")
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