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Not alone is it assuredly bye week, but it’s a anniversary we can relax afterwards a win on the road. Adore it. Booty a breach from the account Us and Them and abrasion Any Colour You Like on Saturday— we won’t judge. Don’t let the accessible calendar of opponents Eclipse this befalling to unwind: booty a moment to Breathe (In the Air) and absorb your Money on article added than a $5 canteen of water.

I’m abiding the aggregation will additionally be demography the all-important Time to balance and accumulate the Brain Damage at bay. Drillmaster Sumlin wasn’t accessible to Speak to Me on the matter, but I’m abiding there ability be some practices to appointment On the Run game. Oh, and we don’t accept to anguish about the refs this week.

Enjoy your anniversary off, Ags. I'll see you on the aphotic ancillary of the season.

Texas A&M - 17Battered Aggie Affection - 0

It’s 7:30pm on Saturday. Cullen “Superman Jesus” Gillaspia has aloof able off his 12th beer of the hour - for the additional hour in a row. Shirtless and with the agrarian ablaze of Khal Drogo in his eyes, he whistles a high-pitch cheep that echoes from the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee to the pits of the Texas A&M beef tunnels. A horse, abounding beach save for the white “12” emblazoned on its side, trots up. Cullen swings aloft and looks to the North as the wind assault his beard majestically in the wind. He catches a glimpse of a aboideau in the distance. “Where the affectionate gather, so to charge I,” he bellows as he spurs his horse and gallops off into the night.

When we accustomed at Johnny’s abode for a account we begin the lights off and the aperture ajar. We wandered in and heard the characteristic complete of a football bold on TV and saw anemic ablaze appearing from the active room. We travelled in added and saw Manziel, amidst by half-eaten bisected gallons of boilerplate Blue Bell and abandoned bottles of Jack, staring at a epitomize of the arrive Kellen Mond adulatory afterwards the achievement over Florida. As he brings a anew opened handle of whiskey to his mouth, we apprehend him whisper, “That should’ve been me….”

While we don’t apperceive for sure, we’re appealing abiding Tony is in his Apple War II catchbasin that he still hasn’t confused off the artery in Houston, awash over the ever-fading ablaze of his phone, cat-and-mouse in affliction to column his abutting and already-written Facebook column about how Texas A&M needs to blaze Drillmaster Sumlin. Undeterred by the contempo cooling of Sumlin’s seat, he waits, anytime vigilant.

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This friend, not absolutely a football aficionado, wakes up on Saturday in a panic, acumen that some of their accompany ability accept abandoned they went to ACL. They snatch their phone, acquisitive to appropriate this wrong, and bound column a photo with added friends, captioning it article forth the curve of “Take me back” or “Really missing my blessed abode appropriate now” or “Smiling through the affliction of analysis week”.

At 5:30 a.m., Nick Saban wakes up the aggregation F.O.W. style. He marches them to the average of Bryant-Denny Stadium, again instructs them to accessory at the jumbotron. The awning comes to life….footage of Cullen Gillaspia blocking a punt for a assurance shines bottomward aloft the afraid Blood-soaked Tide. “NEVER AGAIN!” Saban roars as his administration bounce from the black and blare for the aggregation to alpha running.

While best of us either recharge or affair our accuracy out this bye week, Rick and Morty fans, in their absolute wisdom, will abide to delay in band for whatever booze these individuals with above IQs abundance so dearly EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE LIKE A MILLION SAUCES OUT THERE THAT ARE SO MUCH BETTER. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CANE’S/LAYNES SAUCE OR CHICK-FIL-A SAUCE OR RUDY’S SISSY SAUCE, RICK AND MORTY FANS?? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASSES YOU ENTITLED MILLENNIAL PIECES OF GARBAGE.

This anniversary may be a breach from Texas A&M’s best important activity, but that does not beggarly the university is bankrupt for business! Rather, there could be no bigger befalling than the bye anniversary to booty a accessory at Texas A&M’s added business venture: adopting $4,000,000,000.

Bringing in $4 billion is no accessible task, so Texas A&M alleged in all of the big business accoutrements to accomplish a video that inspires donors to fearlessly advanced their money. Unfortunately, A&M has yet to ability that $4 billion mark, and conceivably it’s time for a altered tactic.

Sure, analysis brings in all of the money, but all the affecting shots of bodies attractive in a telescope or trudging through the mud are accepting a little bit stale. What apprentice alike does any of that? Texas A&M appear this anniversary that it will be teaming up with a business behemothic who, coincidentally, has accumulated a net account of $4 billion: Scrooge McDuck.

In 1967, McDuck disrupted the apple of accounts with his film, Scrooge McDuck and Money. The blur laid the background for avant-garde banking success and charcoal as accordant and avant-garde today as it was 50 years ago.

Texas A&M’s basic attack has been adapted to affection McDuck and footage from his absolute film.

To assemblage the apprentice anatomy abaft the new initiative, The university has asked the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Band to adapt the music to the film’s theme, “A Billion Dollars,” and able the Bawl Leaders to advise the lyrics at Midnight Bawl Practice.

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A billion dollars ample up appropriate afterwards an blow is about eight hundred times the acme as the Washington Monument!

A billion dollars on the arena all continued out and beeline would extend about four times about the ambit of the world!

A billion dollars six anxiety advanced and angled beyond the sea what a nice blooming arch to airing alright to the beaches of Waikiki!

BATTERED AGGIE SYNDROME VACCINE WRONG STRAIN

Local bloom admiral accept accurate apropos that the Battered Aggie Affection anesthetic broadcast above-mentioned to the alpha of the division may accept been for the amiss strain. With the growing cardinal of admirers accepting aboard the advertising alternation afterwards the Alabama game, the apropos of BAS ambience in aboriginal November are growing. Predictions of an 8-2 season, accept led doctors afraid over their best to hook adjoin a accepted October beachcomber of BAS, with the affection accession in mid to backward November instead.

TWEETS ABOUT KEVIN SUMLIN NOT AGING WELL

With the able achievement adjoin Alabama and the added victories, abounding bodies accept rallied below the banderole of Abode Sumlin already more. Students, accepted and former, accept began to articulation their abutment of Drillmaster Sumlin, now that it is accepted to do so and will advice anatomy their ascendancy on amusing media. Abounding users accept abandoned to annul their online annotation on amusing media about Kevin Sumlin in the column UCLA and Nicholls State bold era. For added entertainment, portray screenshots of adverse statements about Drillmaster Sumlin ancillary by side.

COLLEGE STATION RESIDENTS COMING OUT OF HIDING

Usually alone apparent by acceptance accessory summer classes or affective in at the alpha of August, now you can see this bounded allure too! For abounding acceptance seeing the aboriginal bodies affected to anxiety in South Academy Station and Bryan can be an agitative experience. Watch the bodies whose tax dollars armamentarium the accessible casework acceptance adore year round. Aloof stop at your admired bounded atom and watch the association splurge themselves on a Fuego taco or Tiff’s Treats while the acceptance are away.

Kevin SumlinTexas A&MOther coaches in the SEC whisper, “he’s still here?” while Drillmaster Sumlin strolls on Texas Avenue in Academy Station, attractive for alone 12th Man towels to beachcomber at the abutting home game. Sumlin formed through the absolute weekend on plays, because there are no off canicule aback Bama is aloof about the bend - if you accede “around the corner” to be Saturday September 22nd, 2018.

Nick SabanAlabamaCoach Saban spent the weekend rewatching the closing arena from Saving Private Ryan, “I aloof appetite to alive a acceptable life… at Tuscaloosa.” Saban continues to be the assertive drillmaster of academy football, but he is still out of ability of Buck Bryant’s six civic championships.

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John ChavisTexas A&MWith account to the Blood-soaked Tide, sometimes losses can still aftereffect in moral victories. That’s not how Drillmaster Chavis feels though. He bound his Defensive Backs and Linemen in the basement of Kyle Field over the weekend, banishment them to watch the Quentin Coryatt hit on echo while they did one arm advance ups.

Gus MalzahnAuburnCoach Malzahn took some time for R&R and gave his aggregation Monday off to recuperate. There’s not abundant to do in Auburn, Alabama, so the aggregation concluded up accepting convenance anyhow again went to get some biconcave cones at Dairy Queen, but it’s the anticipation that counts.

Ed OrgeronLouisiana StateFollowing the awkward accident to Troy University, Drillmaster Orgeron has started cutting a amber cardboard sack over his arch any time he leaves his home. He didn’t alike blow eye holes in in, clumsy to buck watching the blow of the Tigers’ season. His seeing eye parrot, Mike the Parrot, is now Orgeron’s eyes and aerial at Death Valley, perched on his accept for all home games.

Tennessee @ AlabamaOne day Tennessee's adversity will assuredly end, but unfortunately, it won’t be on Saturday. Alike moral victories will be adamantine to acquisition for Butch Jones as the Volunteers biking to Tuscaloosa to face off adjoin the one football aggregation that we’re absolutely abiding is appealing good, the Alabama Blood-soaked Tide.

We could try to absolutely assay this game, but why would we? The aftereffect has already been decided. Tennessee loses by a ample margin, Nick Saban charcoal stonily discontent, and Butch Jones says article absolutely asinine in the post-game columnist conference. Free will is absolutely a lie.

The temperature of Sumlin's bench is currently unknown. Seriously, we do not apperceive area we angle with him and we are afraid to ascertain the relationship. The accomplished four amateur this division accept been absitively by eight credibility or less, and Aggies everywhere accept been googling "Can watching football annihilate you?" anniversary afterwards week. We are the football agnate of appointment an online appointment at 11:59pm. What do you do aback a accumulation activity affiliate consistently turns in his allotment of the activity bisected assed and at the aftermost minute? You accuse but there’s annihilation you can absolutely do if they get the job done. Accepting no bold this weekend will accept the aforementioned aftereffect on the temperature of Sumlin's bench as assault Florida by a beggarly two credibility and actual Bama’s acrimony by eight. Sumlin has been befitting us on the bend of our seats for far too long, and cipher absolutely knows if he will be in Academy Station afterwards this division until we comedy it out. He has the job aegis of the aftermost actual Blockbuster employees. This bye anniversary will be badly important for Sumlin's job because it won't be a loss. You can't cocky blast if you don't comedy a game, and anybody is thankful. We actively bare this break. And by "we", I beggarly the fans.

The bartender checks his watch and nudges the abandoned actual guest. “Last call.” The drifter doesn’t accessory up. He raises his hand. The bartender prepares a final bottle of bourbon. “Haven’t apparent you about before. You new to town?” he asks. The drifter answers calmly below the border of his hat. “Not necessarily.” The bar TV is arena academy football highlights. Texas A&M beats Florida in the Swamp. “Hey, things are attractive up!” the bartender says. “I don't get my hopes up, though. I’m mostly aflame for basketball season.” The drifter chuckles. “I’m glad. We’re activity to about-face some heads.” This raises the bartender’s brows. “You’re a coach?” “Not yet. Soon, though. I accept some amateurish business here.” The drifter knocks aback his alcohol and slams the bottle down. He closes his tab, gets up, and active against the exit. “You acceptable to drive sir?” the bartender asks. “Lawman’s gonna be out all bottomward Wellborn.” The drifter assurance up his receipt, swings around, aeroembolism his elbow, and shoots it at a debris can thirty anxiety abroad on the adverse ancillary of the bar. Swish. The bartender stares in disbelief. The drifter smirks. “I am the Law.”

Someone accidentally accomplish on John Sharp’s tail. A account of his unsheathed blood-soaked fangs goes viral. You shouldn’t allotment it, though. It’s bad for the university’s PR. Two bawl leaders alteration aural canicule of anniversary other. Adidas announces that the Aggies will booty on LSU cutting alternating uniforms fabricated from old holographic Pokemon cards. Apprentice anatomy admiral Bobby Brooks denies acceptance to beeline white men, able immediately. Rick Perry is assuredly vindicated. New Army tears bottomward Layne’s and replaces it with addition Chipotle. New Army tears bottomward Northgate and replaces it with a half-mile continued Chipotle. New Army turns the absolute abuse campus into a Chipotle. Acceptance are absent below a sea of rice and cilantro. Old Army is dead. TexAgs was right. May Fran accept benevolence on our ragged souls.

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