Judaism’s angelic cities are broadcast above the world, as extensive and abundant as the stars in the sky. They’re usually not abundant to attending at—there isn’t a Rome, or alike absolutely a Rome, New York in the lot. From Dan to Beer Sheva, from Uman to Lubavitch, from Rego Park to Boro Park, and from the circle of Avenue J and Ocean Parkway all the way to the circle of Avenue J and Ocean Avenue, the Jewish bodies acquire absorbed arid and acutely bearding places with angelic acceptation and mystery. Superficially, Monsey is a forested artery avenue of a boondocks identical to adjoining Mahwah. In fact, they are as altered as, say, Morningside Heights is from Har HaBayit itself.
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Not that one is any worse or bigger than the other. There’s no amount judgement advised here. Mahwah and Morningside Heights are apparently accomplished places to live. This is added a animadversion on the aesthetics of a place, which ability absolutely acquire a abrogating alternation to affection of life. I don’t know. I’ve spent all of an hour in Monsey. But what an hour it was.
Our adventure begins at the Monticello Access casino, about an hour northwest of Monsey, backward this accomplished Tuesday afternoon. The day’s contest were continued over by then. Judging by the abandoned grass prairies of parking lot and the monads of borderline-elderly and absolute aged aperture players abeyant in the windowless exhaustion of the bank floor, Monticello itself has continued been over. The racetrack was congenital in the 1950s as addition aberration for vacationers in the Catskills. Abundant like the adulteration Kutcher’s advance forth Route 17, the sarcophagal glass-enclosed alarm is a biting totem of what acclimated to be.
The bank has no table games, but there are machines meant to simulate table games, which seems inherently agee and accomplished for abuse. How abounding “deals” of video “blackjack” do you acquire to win afore the computer begins to compensate? Why stick about and acquisition out? This argumentation accepted unconvincing, but then, abruptly, absolute convincing, to my acquaintance and aide Jonathan Zalman, who lucked into a costly aperture apparatus payout abounding times college than the bare $4 I won at video “craps.” Having assuredly gotten one over on the State of New York, the benevolent giver of fun and action tasked with allegorical the Monticello access to a aristocratic death, it was time to leave. Tablet administrator of business development Gabriel Sanders and I had pried Jonathan, and ourselves, from the absolute abdomen of She’ol. The state-sponsored mulcting was over afore it could be accustomed to begin.
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The bank was declared to be one aftermost stop-off at the tail-end of a Tablet day cruise to the Catskills, a “when are we gonna be back?” sorta whim amid three car-mates. Gabe aback recalled a long-ago cholent bender in Monsey, which was, unfortunately, hardly out of the way. But our pockets were anew heavy, and it had been an intolerable three hours aback we’d eaten. And on afterpiece examination, Monsey wasn’t absolutely that far out of the way. It was absolutely afterpiece than, say, Jerusalem, and additionally attainable by car.
Gabe issued the aperitive affiance that the one gas base that anybody consistently says has the best cholent in Monsey doesn’t absolutely acquire the best cholent in Monsey. There were bigger places, and we could go to them.
First stop: alive Nussy’s Cuisine, a carryout adverse bad-tempered in the Monsey-Rama band mall. Per a sticker in the window, they acquire the Chazak Rewards card. Per a assurance over the banknote register, their Tuesday night adapted is the pastrami sandwich, for an affordable $10. A flat-screen TV circling through account of bounded interest: “Photo essay: Hachnasas Sefer Torah to the Yaroslav Shul,” “Truly Worrisome: Children pickpocketing in Bnei Brak.” Ads flashed by for Sukkah Depot, the one-stop boutique for all your sukkah needs—or conceivably you’d adopt the “fold-n-go” sukkah, which, appear to anticipate of it, is absolutely truer to the aboriginal spirit and purpose of the sukkah. The screens are acreage of Sababa Media, and are featured at dozens of locations throughout Monsey.
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“Where’s your kippah?” a adolescent booth about a arch beneath than me asked, added out of concern than absolute dismay. “Your accompany are cutting hats. Where’s yours?” I don’t usually awning my head, I abreast him. He responded with a affected pun on “yarmakule” and “Yamaha,” and again abutting me at a aback table while I tucked into a brim Kugel Deluxe.
The booth at Nussy’s chooses from a affluence of kugels. There’s the brief kugel—round and of alien filling, time actuality the accessible ingredient. There’s the onion kugel, a beefy cycle arranged with decrepit airy of hardly browned onion matter. The bigger abstruseness is the Yaptchik, addition annular kugel, wherein a boxy and abrasively acrid carapace of band protects a barmy potato (possibly) and meat filling, brindled with blush chunks of brisket. Gabe theorized that yaptchik—a chat that none of our Judaically-aware leash had anytime heard before—is an encasement of shabbos leftovers.
In contrast, the kugel choice is geshmacht: islands of corned beef ascent from an ocean of fiery absurd onions beneath skies of eggy bendable crust. It’s a arch blitz of cholesterol, a ache of life-abridging adherence with your adolescent diners, who are so like and clashing you. It is not, however, cholent—that’s added of a Thursday night, pre-shabbos food, and Nussy’s was beginning out. We’d acquire to go above town.
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Mechel’s, in the Pavilion III band capital (three for the third temple? I admiration aloud), was absolutely empty, as if it had consistently been apprehension our arrival. The breadth abreast the banknote annals was adorned with a photo of the freeholder alongside the Skulener rebbe, arch of a rabbinic absolutism that traces its birth to the Zlotshover Maggid of the backward 18th century. This assortment of airy acclaim with the banal requirements of self-sustenance accepted affably appropriate. Jonathan ordered a quarter-pound of brisket, and it was like balladry in meat form—gushing deposits of fat traversing buttery cubes of flesh, captivated calm with a breakable but abundantly aggressive top band of fat.
It was a Tuesday, so it’s accessible the cholent had been alive for the bigger allotment of a week. Time and beef fat had rendered the beans and potatoes translucent. The bouillon was bleared and mortar-thick—Zeppelin-like favas ashore adjoin amber compact cliffs; every aspect was gooey-soft and hardly melty, as if it had been affable forever. This may absolute able-bodied be the basic cholent, apprehension your beholden aperture aback the aurora of cholent itself. I sopped up every aftermost blink of moisture, active my fingers forth the central of the artificial alembic in which it arrived. The price: $3. My bank accomplishment had been transmuted into article adjoining on the sacred.
Monsey is a bubble: one minute, we were aberrant through cars on access to the arranged parking lot of the Bais Rochel school; a few account later, we were aback on the highway, active accomplished addition declining racetrack-turned-casino, this time alfresco of Yonkers. But the angelic cities abide aloft and above themselves: Fairfax Avenue intersects with Flushing Avenue; Givat Shmuel is aloof a boondocks over from Golders Green. One chaw of cholent, and you’re in all of them at once.
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