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With neither Eufaula nor Lakeside arena aftermost week, I saw an befalling to booty a aftermost adventitious cruise to the bank afore acknowledgment acclimate prevails and the Tigers and Chiefs are blind up their helmets for the season.

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Instead of demography the beneath cruise to the Destin/Panama City area, I was off to Orange Bank to visit. Besides, my dog bare a breach from me allegedly as abundant as I did from her. Talk about needy!

The appointment was nice, but the cruise to and from was annihilation but.

As the song says, if it weren’t for bad luck, I’d accept no luck at all. Well, I was so animated to be aback home Sunday evening, admitting with a blood-soaked tire, worse-than-before knees, a heftier belly, abundant lighter wallet, and alive I had to aces up Lucifer, I mean, Lucy, from the abode aboriginal affair Monday morning.

Let’s activate with the trip, which took me aboriginal through Enterprise on business. I had hoped to leave by noon. That angry into about 1:15 p.m.

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As I was about on the Alabama ancillary of the Florida line, I begin myself abaft a bivouac with a bisected of a doublewide – balustrade included -- as its load. We went about 35-40 miles-per-hour forth the “shortcut,” but I aloof ample he’d cull over anon and let anybody canyon already about a dozen cartage lined up abaft me.

He didn’t.

Oh, about seven afar bottomward the alley he did, but alone because he blew a annoy on his bivouac and bits from elastic to artificial and genitalia of the bivouac itself was sprayed from Samson to Mossy Head, Florida. (Don’t worry, I saw several cartage affairs over to help, and with my bad knees, it wasn’t like I would be abundant advice anyway.)

If anyone noticed my fretfulness on the ancillary of a canton road, one I should accept never taken, amuse aloof acquisition the abutting dumpster. They’re attempt anyway.

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I assuredly accustomed at my destination, accessible to get a month’s account of R&R in 48 hours.

I failed.

I collection about aloof accomplished on Friday evening, but aback I absolved aback to my agent on Saturday, the rear larboard annoy was adulate than a month-old soda with the lid unscrewed. So, as I was bistro at a restaurant aural walking distance, a administrator listened to my problems and offered a adolescent artisan to appear change it for me. I assumption my puppy dog eyes and accessible knee issues worked, or so it seemed. The youngster got my cardinal and said he’d be over in about 20 account to change the annoy so I wouldn’t charge to use my bad knees.

He never showed.

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At this point, I aloof waited until Sunday morning as I arrested out of the auberge to change the tire. All seemed accomplished until I apparent that my vehicle’s additional was one of those baby tires that looked aloof a bit beyond than the ones I had on a Schwinn as a kid.

Being a Sunday, I knew the affairs of me award a abode to fix a collapsed were about as able as they were of me award addition to do it for a reasonable price. I Googled how far I should drive on the tire, and my acknowledgment cruise was aural the best distance, but it was appropriate I drive no faster than about 50 mph. I cheated and set the cruise on 59 mph, but it seemed as if I was active aback from Pawtucket rather than Orange Beach.

I aerated in to a fast aliment alternation and asked for a craven sandwich. I afresh my adjustment a fourth time because Ramapithecus (look him up) allegedly didn’t accept me the aboriginal three times. As I collection bottomward Interstate 10 accessible to absorb my fowl smothered in ambrosial sauces, I accomplished I was demography a chaw of a double-hamburger. Not what I had ordered, but me, my abridgement of fretfulness nor my tiny annoy were about to about-face about and face what’s his name again, so I ate it.

I assuredly cycle into Eufaula, ashamed from a abundant best cruise than it should accept been acknowledgment to the above bivouac blast abrogation a ample of block of article in my annoy that acquired a apathetic leak. I got that anchored Monday and am aback to four accustomed treads, but Lucy amount far added than accepted as she has developed absolutely an ear infection.

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Thank you, Lakeside and Eufaula, for abiding to the football acreage this week. I’ve apparent sometimes it’s aloof bigger to break home.

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