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Marie McCausland holds her bairn anon afterwards delivery. A ProPublica/NPR adventure about preeclampsia prompted her to seek emergency analysis aback she developed affection canicule afterwards giving birth. Courtesy of Marie McCausland adumbrate caption
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Lil Uzi Vert XO Tour Life Lyrics - Loop Youtube Videos | i don t really care if you cry lyricsMarie McCausland holds her bairn anon afterwards delivery. A ProPublica/NPR adventure about preeclampsia prompted her to seek emergency analysis aback she developed affection canicule afterwards giving birth.
This adventure was co-published by NPR and ProPublica.
Four canicule afterwards Marie McCausland delivered her aboriginal adolescent in May, she knew article was actual wrong. She had acute affliction in her aerial chest, her claret burden was rising, and she was so bloated that she about accustomed herself in the mirror. As she coiled up in bed that evening, a alarming anticipation flickered through her beat brain: "If I go to beddy-bye appropriate now, I don't apperceive if I'm gonna be alive up."
What she didn't accept was acceptable admonition about what adeptness be wrong. The acquittal abstracts the hospital beatific home with her were ambiguous and ambagious — "really absolutely useless," she said. Afresh she remembered a ProPublica/NPR adventure she had apprehend afresh about a New Jersey assistant who died anon afterwards childbirth.
The nurse, Lauren Bloomstein, had developed astringent preeclampsia, a alarming blazon of hypertension that about happens during the additional bisected of pregnancies — and can additionally appear afterwards the babyish is delivered, aback it about is overlooked, accounting for dozens of affectionate deaths a year. McCausland accomplished that she adeptness accept preeclampsia, too.
The 27-year-old atomic virologist and her bedmate abiding up their bairn son and raced to the abutting emergency allowance in Cleveland. The ER doctor told her that she was activity accustomed postpartum symptoms, she said, and capital to accelerate her home alike as her claret burden hovered at perilous heights. Several hours anesthetized afore he consulted with an ob/gyn at addition hospital and McCausland's astringent preeclampsia was advised with magnesium sulfate to anticipate seizures.
Without Bloomstein's adventure as a warning, McCausland doubts she would accept accustomed her affection or persisted in the face of the ER doctor's dismissive approach.
"I had aloof appear home with the babyish and absolutely didn't appetite to go aback to the hospital. I anticipate I apparently would accept aloof wrote it off." In that case, she said, "I don't apperceive if I'd be here. I absolutely don't."
McCausland's acquaintance is far from unique. In the months aback ProPublica and NPR launched our activity about affectionate deaths and near-deaths in the U.S., we've heard from 3,100 women who endured life-threatening abundance and accouchement complications, about adversity abiding accurate and affecting effects.
(Tell us your story)
The Leapfrog Accumulation provides achievement abstracts on added than 1,800 hospitals and publishes an anniversary Maternology Affliction Report.
Consumer Letters offers C-section abstracts from added than 1,300 hospitals by ZIP code.
The California Affectionate Quality Affliction Collaborative's "toolkits" of protocols to amusement life-threatening obstetric complications accommodate infographics, checklists and diffuse advancement abstracts but crave (free) allotment for access.
The Alliance for Innovation on Affectionate Health's "bundles" activity agnate admonition in a condensed, calmly downloadable form.
The Health4Mom site, from the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses, has a "Save Your Life" campaign, including a one-page checklist, to admonition new mothers accept postpartum admonishing signs.
The Institute for Perinatal Quality Improvement offers these assets for medical professionals.
Childbirth Connection provides evidence-based admonition on maternology care. The Preeclampsia Foundation's "Wonder Woman" posts (here and here) put the U.S. affectionate bloodshed numbers in ambience and activity added strategies for self-advocacy.
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The Weeknd Writes 'I Don't Really Care If You Cry' on Instagram ... | i don t really care if you cry lyricsPostpartum Abutment International offers abounding assets for women with pregnancy-related depression, all-overs and affection disorders.
Facebook is a acquisition abode for bags of women who've accomplished life-threatening complications, but abounding groups are condition-specific and/or bankrupt to nonsurvivors. One accessible accumulation account blockage out: The Unexpected Project.
Social amends groups are additionally acceptable alive about the affair of affectionate deaths and near-deaths, with a focus on why African-American women are disproportionately affected. They accommodate the Black Mamas Matter Alliance and Moms Rising.
The aforementioned capacity that run admitting McCausland's adventure acknowledgment abounding of these survivors' recollections. They frequently told us they had accepted little to annihilation about the complications that about dead them. Alike aback the women were absolute article was awfully amiss, doctors and nurses were sometimes apathetic to accept them. Mothers abnormally lacked admonition about risks in the postpartum period, aback medical affliction is about aimless or difficult to admission and the babyish is the focus of attention.
"Every distinct nurse, pediatrician and lactation adviser absolved my apropos as hormones and anxiety," wrote Emily McLaughlin, who suffered a achievement and added complications afterwards giving bearing in Connecticut in 2015.
Hospitals, medical organizations and affectionate assurance groups are introducing a host of initiatives aimed at educating alert and new mothers and convalescent how providers acknowledge to emergencies. But as McCausland's acquaintance illustrates, self-advocacy is additionally alarmingly important.
We asked survivors: What can bodies do to ensure that what happened to Lauren Bloomstein doesn't appear to them or their admired ones? How can they admonition anticipate situations like Marie McCausland's from ambagious out of control? What do they ambition they had accepted advanced of their astringent complications? What fabricated a aberration in their recovery? How did they get medical professionals to listen? Actuality is a alternative of their insights, in their own words.
"A lot of abstracts on specific doctors and hospitals can be begin publicly. Knowing how your physician and hospital ante as compared to others (cesarean rates, infection rates, readmission rates) can accord you admired acumen into how they perform. 'Liking' your doctor as a actuality is nice, but not about as important as their and their facility's adeptness and clue record."— Kristen Terlizzi, 35, survived a placenta accreta (a ataxia in which the placenta grows into or through the uterine wall) in 2014, co-founder of the National Accreta Foundation
"Key pieces of admonition every woman should apperceive afore allotment a hospital are: What are their assurance protocols for adverse affectionate events? No one brand to anticipate about this while pregnant, and providers will apparently acquaint you that it's absurd to happen. But it does happen, and it's acceptable to apperceive that the hospital and providers accept accomplished for such scenarios and accept able protocols in place."— Marianne Drexler, 39, survived a drain and emergency hysterectomy in 2014
"Ask your doctors if they accept anytime accomplished a case of an amniotic aqueous array [an aberrant acknowledgment to amniotic aqueous entering the mother's bloodstream] or added astringent accident themselves. If a bearing centermost is your choice, altercate what happens in an emergency — how far abroad is the abutting hospital with an ICU? Because a lot of hospitals don't accept them. Addition affair abounding women don't apprehend is that not every hospital has an obstetrician there 24/7. Ask your doctors: If they're not able to be there the accomplished time you're in labor, will there be addition OB-GYN on-site 24 hours a day if article goes wrong?"— Miranda Klassen, 41, survived amniotic aqueous array in 2008, founder/executive administrator of the Amniotic Aqueous Array Foundation
"While my doctor was amazing, we alive in a abate boondocks and [the hospital didn't] backpack abundant blood/platelets on duke for actual appearing situations. They accept patients alien to beyond hospitals aback they charge added care. Had I been acquainted of that, we would accept absitively to bear at a beyond hospital so in case article happened to me or our daughter, we wouldn't be afar — which we were aback I was life-flighted out."— Kristina Landrus, 26, survived a drain in 2013
"My best admonition for accepting a medical able to accept is to accumulate analytic for one that is accommodating to listen. Because of my allowance and claimed affairs at the time, I acquainted I had no advantage but to booty whoever my providers [assigned] me, admitting several red flags alike afore my delivery. I was not acquainted of my appropriate to change providers until it was too late."— Joy Huff, 39, survived a claret infection in 2013
"A chat about accessible things that could go awry is advisable to accept with your doctor or in one of these accouchement classes. I don't anticipate that it needs to be done in a way to alarm the new parents, but as a way to accommodate knowledge. The abundant woman should be accomplished admonishing signs and apperceive aback to allege up so that she can be advised as bound and accurately as possible."— Susan Lewis, 33, survived assorted claret clots and astringent drain in 2016
"Always accept somebody with you in a medical ambience to ask the questions you adeptness not anticipate of and to apostle on your account if your adeptness to acquaint is compromised by actuality in poor health. ... And get affecting abutment to animate you adjoin the naysayers. It may feel absolutely aberrant or difficult to advance aback [against doctors and nurses]. Online forums and Facebook groups can be accessible to ensure you're not accident your mind."— Eleni Tsigas, survived preeclampsia in 1998 and 1999, controlling administrator of the Preeclampsia Foundation
"Know your rights. Apperceive what affectionate of decisions you adeptness accept to accomplish and what you appetite to do afore you go. Doctors and nurses are there to accomplish quick decisions — they're not afraid about how you will feel about it afterward. They are afraid about a lawsuit, whether they can get you abiding bound so they can move on. I'm not adage they are brutal — far from it, my mother is a nurse, I apperceive what array of affection goes into that profession. But they accept a lot to do and a lot to anguish about. Your animosity are not at the top of that list. At atomic not as far as they are anxious in the moment."— Carrie Anthony, 36, survived two pregnancies with placenta accreta and drain in 2008 and 2015
"It isn't aloof important to apperceive how you feel about claret transfusions and life-saving measures — you accept to acquaint these things to your apron or ancestors member. I was accustomed six claret transfusions, but I was about acquainted aback asked if I capital them. Of advance I capital any life-saving measures, but my bedmate should accept been consulted, accustomed that I was not of a bright mind."— Rachel Stuhler, 36, survived a drain in 2017
"In case you anytime are clumsy to respond, addition needs to footfall in and be your voice! Apperceive as abundant absolute medical history as possible, and let your apron or abutment actuality apperceive [in depth] your history as well."— Kristina Landrus
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Lil Uzi Vert - XO Tour Life (Lyrics) - YouTube | i don t really care if you cry lyrics"Also be abiding your apron and your added ancestors members, like your parents or siblings, are on the aforementioned folio about your care. And if you aren't married, who will be authoritative the decisions on your behalf? You should put things in order, baptize the actuality who will be the decisionmaker and accord that actuality ability of attorney. Added important things to accept are a medical charge or a active will — be abiding to accompany a archetype with you to the hospital. I additionally acclaim packing a account to almanac aggregate that happens."— Miranda Klassen
"Make a account of your questions and accomplish abiding you get the abounding answer. I went to every arrangement the additional time about with a notebook. I would apologize for actuality 'that patient,' but I had been through this afore and I wasn't activity to be abashed again. I capital to apperceive everything. Honestly, it was as adverse as it was accessible — I knew what I was accepting into, which fabricated it abundant scarier. The aboriginal time, my benightedness was bliss. I didn't apprehend I about died until two weeks afterwards I had larboard the hospital. I didn't alike alpha researching what had appear to me until months later. The additional time I was an apostle for myself. Medical journals and abutment groups were a allotment of every distinct visit. And thankfully I was in acceptable hands."— Carrie Anthony
"Write bottomward what anniversary specialty says to you. Aback I was ailing for six weeks above-mentioned to giving birth, I was visited two to three times a anniversary by addition from anniversary administration that would be complex in my life-saving surgery. This agency that I saw addition from the neonatal accelerated affliction assemblage as able-bodied as reps from gynecologic oncology, affectionate fetal medicine, interventional radiology, and anesthesiology. They paraded in on a schedule, arrested up on me, asked if I had any questions. I consistently did, but I affliction not autograph bottomward what anniversary said anniversary time (along with names!). I got so abounding altered answers apropos how I would be anesthetized, and on the day it all had to appear in an emergency, there were disagreements aloft me in the O.R. amid the specialists. It was like accouchement arguing on a playground, and my activity was in danger. Had I kept a added acute almanac of what anniversary specialty appear to me, conceivably above-mentioned to the day I could accept confronted anniversary with the capacity that weren't analogous up."— Megan Moody, 36, survived placenta percreta (when the placenta penetrates through the uterine wall) in 2016
"People should apperceive that they accept a appropriate to ask for added time with the doctor or added followup if they feel article is not right. The OB-GYNs (at atomic in Pennsylvania) are so busy, and sometimes accessories are absolutely quick and rushed. Accomplish the doctors apathetic bottomward and booty the time with you."— Dani Leiman, 37, survived HELLP affection (a decidedly alarming alternative of preeclampsia) in 2011
"You accept a acknowledged appropriate to your medical annal throughout abundance and anytime afterwards. Get a archetype of your lab after-effects anniversary time claret is drawn, and a archetype of your prenatal and hospital reports. Ask about apropos or cryptic results."— Eleni Tsigas
"Understand the system. Ask a assistant or a trusted admired one in the 'industry' how it all works. I've begin that medical professionals are added acceptable to accept to you if you authenticate an compassionate of their roles and the affectionate of questions they can/cannot answer. Apperceive your 'silos.' Don't ask an anesthesiologist how they plan on bond up your cervix. Specialists are about abundantly impatient. You charge to get the capacity out of them apropos their actual specific roles."— Megan Moody
"Let doctors apperceive you affliction about your bloom and assurance as abundant as they do. Acquaint them you appetite to be a accomplice in your bloom care. Do not act as an antagonist to your doctor."— Tricia Fitzgerald, 40, survived a drain acquired by astringent preeclampsia in 2014
"First you accept to be armed with accurate adeptness with examples about your affliction and accept a close attitude. This is why it is important to apperceive your body. Do your analysis afore your appointment, but accomplish it personal. Do not present your case as if you aloof went on WebMD for the information. Create a log of your bloom activities. This log should accommodate all illnesses you are anxious about, aback they occurred and how did you feel. Accept your questions and apropos accounting down. You should consistently backpack a account of your medications, dosage and milligrams. Accommodate any ancillary effects. Ask accurate questions and accept the doctors present their allegation to you in a accent you can understand. If you do not accede [with what one doctor tells you], ask addition doctor. Remember, adeptness is ability and you charge accept that power."— Anner Porter, 55, survived postpartum cardiomyopathy in 1992, architect of the advancement alignment Fight PPCM
"If your provider tells you, 'you are pregnant, what you're experiencing is normal,' bethink — that may be true. [But it's additionally true] that preeclampsia can actor abounding accustomed affection of pregnancy. Ask 'what abroad could this be?' Expect a anxious acknowledgment that includes application of 'differential diagnoses' — in added words, added altitude that could be causing the aforementioned symptoms."— Eleni Tsigas
"Crying! I'm alone hardly kidding. I absolutely anticipate the alone way to get them to accept is to be determined and don't aback down. I had a bearings area I acquainted no one was advantageous absorption to me, and I cried out of annoyance over the phone. Afresh they listened to me and airtight into action."
— Dani Leiman
"So abounding women do allege up about the aberrant affliction they have, and a assistant may besom it off as accustomed afterwards consulting a doctor and active any tests. Be annoying if you charge — this is your life. ... Thankfully, I never had to be so assertive. I owe my activity to the aggregation of doctors and nurses who acted apace and accurately, and I am always grateful."— Susan Lewis
"If you accept a hemorrhage, don't apple-pie up afterwards yourself! Accomplish abiding the doctor is absolutely acquainted of how abundant claret you are losing. I had a actual nice assistant who was allowance to accumulate me apple-pie and allowance to change my (rapidly filling) pads. If the doctor had apparent the pools of claret himself, rather than aloof actuality told about them, he adeptness not accept been so quick to abolish me."—Valerie Bradford, 30, survived drain in 2016
Paying absorption to your symptoms
"I had heard of preeclampsia but I was naïve — [I believed] that it was article women developed who didn't watch what they ate and didn't focus on acceptable bloom above-mentioned and/or during pregnancy. I was in abundant bloom and appearance above-mentioned to accepting pregnant, during my pregnancy, I connected to accomplish acceptable aliment choices and formed out up until 36 hours afore the babyish had to be taken. I acquired advantageous weight and kept my BMI at an optimum number. I anticipation due to my acceptable health, I was not affected to annihilation and my activity would be easy. So although I had acquainted bad for 1 1/2 weeks, I chalked it up to the actuality that I was about 8 months into this pregnancy, so you're not declared to feel great. ... I absolved into my doctor's arrangement that Friday and not one hour later, I was in an emergency C-section carrying a baby. I had to absolutely be put under, due to the severity of the HELLP, so I didn't deathwatch up until the abutting day."— Kelli Davis, 31, survived HELLP affection in 2016
"Understand that severe, abiding affliction is not normal. So abounding bodies told me that the final trimester of abundance is sooo uncomfortable. It was my aboriginal pregnancy, I accept a about aerial beginning for pain, and my son was backside so I anticipation his arch was causing bad affliction beneath my ribs [when it was absolutely epigastric affliction from the HELLP syndrome]. I kept cerebration it was accustomed to be in pain, and I let it go until it was about too late."— Dani Leiman
"I ambition I would accept accepted what aerial claret burden numbers were. I had a pharmacist booty my claret burden at a pharmacy and let me airing out the aperture with a claret burden of 210/102. She acted like it was no big accord ('it's a little high'), and so I believed her. Alike afterwards cogent my husband, we absolutely anticipation annihilation of it."— Melissa McFadden, 36, survived preeclampsia in 2013
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I don't care if you cry - YouTube | i don t really care if you cry lyrics"Know the way your claret burden should be taken. And ask for the results. Politely claiming the artisan or assistant if it's not actuality done accurately or if they advance 'changing positions to get a lower reading.' Actual aerial claret burden (anything over 160/110) is a 'hypertensive crisis' and requires actual intervention."— Eleni Tsigas
"Please ask for a affection adviser for yourself while in labor, not aloof for the baby. I anticipate if I had one on, abnormal or account could accept been asleep from acknowledgment time by the nurses. They were alerted to an affair because the baby's affection chock-full during labor, and while the assistant was blockage that machine, my bedmate noticed I was additionally non-responsive. That's aback aggregate happened (cardiac arrest due to AFE)."— Kristy Kummer-Pred, 44, survived amniotic aqueous array and cardiac arrest in 2012
"My abscess in my easily and all-overs never went away. My uterus hadn't shrunk. I wasn't bleeding that bad, but there was a aberrant odor to it. My breasts were bloated and my milk wasn't advancing in. I was misdiagnosed with mastitis [a aching deepening of the breast tissue that sometimes occurs aback milk ducts become acquainted and engorged]. The absolute botheration was that I still had pieces of placenta central my uterus. Apperceive that your placenta should not appear out in assorted pieces. It should appear out in one piece. If it is burst apart, appeal an ultrasound to ensure the doctors got it all. If you accept flu-like symptoms, appeal to be apparent by a doctor. If you don't like your doctor, appeal addition one."— Brandi Miller, 32, survived placenta accreta and drain in 2015
"There is a aeon in the canicule and weeks afterwards commitment area your claret burden can amplify and you can accept a seizure, achievement or affection attack, alike able-bodied afterwards a advantageous birth. You should booty your own claret burden at home if your doctor doesn't acquaint you to. ... Unfortunately, I went home from [all my postpartum] accessories with my claret burden so aerial that I started accepting a academician hemorrhage. Not one distinct actuality anytime anticipation of demography my claret burden aback I was accusatory about my ache and assuming admonition admonishing signs of [preeclampsia]."— Emily McLaughlin
"The ER doctor that I had was not alleviative me as a postpartum case. He was aloof cerebration of me as a 27-year-old with aerial claret pressure. I think, if you accept the opportunity, the ideal affair would be to go aback to the aforementioned hospital area you had your baby, because they accept a activity and commitment assemblage and they accept your records. But if the abutting emergency allowance isn't at the hospital area you delivered, afresh you accept to be added vigilant. Accomplish abiding they apperceive you aloof gave birth. If you apperceive article is awry with you, don't booty no for an answer. Aloof accumulate saying, 'I anticipate this is article serious' and don't let them acquittal you, abnormally if it's addition who isn't accustomed with abundant women."— Marie McCausland
"The postpartum aeon is aback a lot of pregnancy-related affection problems like cardiomyopathy emerge. If there is still adversity breathing, aqueous accretion in ankles, conciseness of animation and you are clumsy to lie collapsed on your back, go see a cardiologist ASAP. If you accept to go to an emergency room, appeal to accept the afterward tests performed: echocardiogram (echo) test, casting atom test, B-type natriuretic peptides (BNP), EKG analysis and chest X-ray test. These tests will actuate if your affection is declining and will save your life."— Anner Porter
"Rest as abundant as accessible — for as connected as possible. Actuality in too big a blitz to get 'back to normal' can aggravate postpartum bloom risks. Things that are not normal: abundant bleeding best than 6 weeks or bleeding that stops and starts again, not bearing milk, fevers, astringent affliction (especially about cavity sites), boundless fatigue, and anxiety/depression. If you don't feel like yourself, get help."— Amy Barron Smolinski, 37, survived preeclampsia, postpartum drain and added complications in three pregnancies in 2006, 2011 and 2012; controlling administrator of Mom2Mom Global, a breastfeeding abutment group
"Know that your preexisting bloom altitude may be impacted by accepting a babyish (hormone changes, beddy-bye deprivation, stress). Almanac your bloom and your baby's in a account or app to clue any changes. Reach out to the assistant or doctor aback there are apparent changes that you accept tracked."— Noelle Garcia, 33, survived placental abruption (placenta amid from the uterine bank during pregnancy) in 2007
"If your hospital discharges you on bags of Motrin or painkillers, be acquainted that this can affectation the admonishing signs of headache, which is sometimes the alone admonishing assurance of preeclampsia advancing on postpartum."—Emily McLaughlin
"I ambition I had accepted that postpartum PTSD was possible. Most bodies accessory PTSD with the furnishings of war, but I was diagnosed with PTSD afterwards my alarming bearing and near-death experience. About 6 years later, I still acquaintance affection sporadically." — Meagan Raymer, 31, survived astringent preeclampsia and HELLP affection in 2011
"I acclaim analysis with a changeable therapist specializing in trauma. Honestly, I abhorred it for 8 months. I was afresh in analysis for 12 months. I still accept advancing all-overs ... but I would be in a actual bad abode (potentially abasement and self-harm due to self-blame) were it not for therapy. It was so adamantine to accept [what was happening]. I started to get a suspicion aback I heard an NPR adventure about a adept with PTSD. I anticipation ... that sounds like me. And I started Googling."— Jessica Rae Hoffman, 28, survived astringent sepsis and added complications in 2015
"The affecting constructs our association puts about abundance and accouchement accomplish the account of astringent abrasion and afterlife taboo. Accouchement is a messy, alarming experience. ... Abounding women don't seek affliction alike aback they aimlessly accept article is awry because they're declared to 'be happy.' Awareness and accuracy are so important."— Leah Soule, 33, survived a drain in 2015
"Having an absurd abutment arrangement fabricated the greatest appulse with my near-death experience, but my ancestors and accompany bare their own abutment as they coped. My mom didn't leave my side, but she additionally had a aggregation of accompany acknowledging her so that she could let her bouncer bottomward and cry aback she bare to do so. My bedmate was at my bedside or with the babyish consistently that aboriginal week, but he was additionally adversity from the agony of aggregate and was accepting a absolutely adamantine time arresting and bare to leave the hospital environment. My best acquaintance is an ICU assistant and bound became the actuality anybody asked allegorical questions, but she didn't appetite to be a assistant in that moment but rather addition who was afraid for her friend."— Susan Lewis
"I ambition I had accepted how cogent the appulse was on my husband. Emotionally, the acquaintance was abundant added difficult and abiding for him than for me, and it connected to affect his accord with both me and our babyish for absolutely a while, at a time aback I didn't anticipate it was a affair at all."— Elizabeth Venstra, 44, survived HELLP affection in 2014
"I would advance establishing yourself advanced of time with a doula or midwife that can accomplish postpartum visits to your home, which can advance bloom alike if aggregate goes smoothly. Abounding communities accept those casework accessible if you can't allow them. [A doula] wasn't covered through our insurance, but the amusing artisan at the hospital abiding for addition paid for by [San Diego County] to appear and do several checks on me and my son, which was actual abating to both my bedmate and me."— Miranda Klassen
"If you're accustomed a analysis of a life-threatening abundance complication, band up a therapist anon so can alpha accepting the abutment you charge as anon as you accord birth. Don't delay until your six-week [postpartum] arrangement aback they do a abasement awning and you apprehend you're not arresting well. You'll accept to delay at atomic addition anniversary for the arrangement to be made. Why not accept that in place? I ambition I did."— Megan Moody
"Don't accept anybody gets it. Don't accept anybody wants to apprehend it. My adventure is scary. Some -to-be moms accept looked abashed by my story. Some already moms accept been afraid abroad by it. Most bodies are blessed to listen, like to be informed, but some do not. Some bodies are happier thinking, 'It's all activity to be OK, not me, I'll be fine.' They should at atomic know, but that's their choice. You can't force bodies to accessible their eyes. Be there. Activity help. But don't force it."— Carrie Anthony
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