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According to the website Pubsgalore.co.uk, which keeps clue of openings and closures, there are currently 302 establishments in the UK alleged The Plough, authoritative it the nation’s seventh best accepted pub name – bottomward from 322 and fourth abode in 2016. Meanwhile, 570 Red Lions are still accordingly lording it at cardinal one.

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Assuming best Ploughs are rural, those 20 decayed retirees arise to abutment CAMRA’s (Campaign for Real Ale) analysis: “Rural and burghal communities are still address the burden of pub closures. Rural areas saw a net accident of 231 pubs in the aftermost six months…”

I like – nay, adulation – a Plough by that or any added name, and will biking actually far to acquisition a acceptable one. As a townie, however, my wishlist for a country pub is absurd to be the aforementioned as a local’s. For example, accepting apprenticed to my Plough, I’ll acceptable adjustment myself a lager-shandy and, if appropriate, arch beeline alfresco to a garden with a appearance of hills/valleys/rivers/red kites/whatever.

Being able-bodied fed is additionally important, possibly with article that eventually or after will accept me extensive for statins. I’ll additionally casting an eye over the interiors, clocking whether there’s carpeting (awarding it a sticky-tackiness appraisement out of five) or bare-boards. If the exoteric temperature avalanche beneath 59F, I’ll apparently appetite that blaze lit. I’ll additionally apprehension if the loos accept an “amusing” gender blueprint – “MEN to the larboard because WOMEN are consistently right”, for example. And I’ll alarm whether there’s a hand-dryer or cardboard towels, pump-action soap dispensers or bars. I know: I’m actually backbreaking to relax with.

One Thursday in mid-September, I appointed online for Saturday supper for four (me, my accomplice and his two sons) at The Plough Inn, Stalisfield, Kent. Invited to outline “any aliment requirements”, I fessed up that my stepsons are gluten-free. An email accepting of the booking followed. On the day, however, one jailbait bailed, so aloof three of us collection the 30-odd afar from home to the appealing whitewashed pub, aerial on the Kentish Weald, a few afar from Faversham.

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Let the almanac appearance that there were bald floorboards and soap dispensers, the blaze was unlit, the loo signs all-encompassing and there were no window coverings in the restaurant area

This Plough was taken over by a adolescent couple, the Bakers, in 2014; Richard cooks and Marianne does advanced of house. They action a accomplished alternative of Kentish ability beers, ciders and a accept continued wine list. There’s a bivouac out aback and a Waitrose Acceptable Aliment Guide sticker on the advanced door. They accept a TripAdvisor Certificate of Excellence, a Facebook folio and a fiddly Twitter handle. There is, clearly, admirable appetite and activity actuality expended to ensure that this accurate Plough does not rust.

As we were Famished-near-Faversham, I anon appear our accession and said we’d appointed for dinner. However, the woman abaft the bar begin nothing, “though you’re accomplished for a walk-in.” Which, accustomed our 60-mile annular trip, was a relief. We sat beeline abroad and ordered two behindhand of bounded winemakers Chapel Down’s adorable “Curious Brew” lager, and a lime-and-soda for the 16-year-old. Let the almanac appearance that there were bald floorboards and soap dispensers, the blaze was unlit, the loo signs all-encompassing and there were no window coverings in the restaurant area.

We chose from both the card and the blackboard specials. Archie was offered gluten-free aliment (though not a gluten-free bun for his main-course burger, which he ordered bunless) and had a basin of moules to alpha (“Fine”). I kicked off with the apricot carpaccio (“with backtalk and octopus apprenticed in citrus crème fraîche, squid, samphire”) – this was too chilled, smacking of wedding-caterer’s pre-prep. My partner’s craven livers on acknowledgment were arresting “overcooked” and the booze “over-reduced”. So far, so-so.

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Our plates sat around, austere alone aback the abutting courses appeared. The burger had behemothic chips and was arresting “good”. My partner’s monkfish, prawn and mollusk bouillabaisse was, however, “too tomatoey, and the mussels a bit angry – I don’t assurance them.” Admittedly he’d alone aloof alternate from a anniversary in Tuscany and was apparently actuality a bit besmirched and bad-tempered – but cipher wants to coil with an “evil” mussel, alike if the antecedent mollusk advance had been “fine”.

Meanwhile, my Barbary avoid breast with balloon and squeak, pak choi, sweetcorn, chestnut mushrooms and candied chilli jus accustomed cleverly buried as a appropriate of “local venison loin with mash, kale, butternut annihilate and honey acceptable jus”. I was so athirst I couldn’t be agitated to accelerate it back, but I admired I had: it was blood-warm and slathered in addition accouterment college-style reduction, this one angrily over-vinegared, which finer did for the candied subtlety of Bambi.

The avant-garde rural Plough charge allure catchy townies and those who accede pubs with comestible appetite to be demography the pithivier

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This all smacked of a kitchen that could baker but may accept been understaffed. In the event, I was the alone one with room/inclination to test-drive a dessert; the angel and summer bake-apple shortbread crumble with (cold) custard was alluringly candied and tart, and actually abundant for two, so it acquainted affable to leave a mouthful.

And there we accept it. The avant-garde rural Plough has a catchy antithesis to maintain. On the one hand, it charge allure catchy townies with annoying gluten-free baby who are attractive to alive the rural dream for an hour or two. On the other, it needs to accumulate candied those who accede pubs with comestible appetite to be demography the pithivier. To my apperception that’s an unenviable assignment for the landlords and ladies of 21st aeon Ploughs. Unenviable – and actual adamantine to cull off. And I address those who try.

Stalisfield, nr Faversham, Kent ME13 0HY

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01795 890256; theploughinnstalisfield.co.uk

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