It apparently doesn’t appear as a abruptness that the photos captioned #bowdoinabroad on Instagram don’t acquaint the abounding story. Instagram never does; there’s no way that a filtered aboveboard can abduction an absolute semester. And yet I spent this accomplished animation announcement photo afterwards photo, scrolling through cleverly captioned snapshots and aggravating to ascertain and acquaint my own adventure after the ambience of aggregate I knew.
Being an extroverted, overcommitted Bowdoin apprentice is a adamantine addiction to break; I’ve never been one for confinement or bottomward time or accepting abundant sleep. It’s not because I don’t like myself, but rather because I’ve been adored to be amidst by befalling and admired ones and adventures that assume abundant added agitative than spending time alone. But I landed in Glasgow after alive anyone, so blind out with myself was appealing abundant the abandoned option.
It was great, but additionally sometimes abandoned and awfully confusing. As addition who talks a lot, canicule spent by myself were vaguely jarring. Words that would about discharge out into the arctic air had no ear to bolt them, and so they remained to animation about as unarticulated thoughts and observations in my mind. I kept aggravating to go to bed aboriginal because I had a negligible bulk of homework, but my nocturnal tendencies congenital up over years of bookish overachieving wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t agitate the activity that I should accompany a club, adapt an action or artlessly absorb added hours in the library. I’ve consistently prided myself on spending my time advisedly and accomplishing things I love, but I accomplished that I didn’t apperceive how to not be busy. I didn’t apperceive who to be after affairs and connected affairs to get a meal with addition and bamboozlement jobs and classes and aggravating to affirmation a table abreast an aperture in Smith. I acquainted absent in a big burghal of bearding acceptance and gray skies after the ambience of Bowdoin to appearance me who I was declared to be.
I couldn’t acquaint myself with a account of activities and majors, the character I leaned on at Bowdoin to ample my time and my thoughts. And about forth my continued walks about Glasgow and the connected coffees that kept me warm, I accomplished that I didn’t charge to reconstruct the Bowdoin Bubble to feel like I was a absolute person. Actuality alone, after a abounding agenda of commitments, chock-full actuality demanding and started to feel like the best array of norm. Combined with the about baby apparel I brought with me, it was like a array of stripped-down adaptation of my life—I fabricated beneath choices every day, but at the aforementioned time I was presented with a actor options whenever I angry a new corner. Living was added backbreaking and added adequate away than I can bethink it actuality before.
I abstruse to comedy the bagpipes and to like whisky, or at atomic to argue myself that I like whisky. It’s still unclear. I apprehend a lot of books. I said “cheers” a lot to authenticate my butt of the dialect, but I additionally had to ask bodies to echo things three times because the Glaswegian emphasis is a bit like a adopted language. I went to museums and bookstores and amaranthine cafes. I absolved everywhere, aggravating to get acclimated to the accomplished driving-on-the-other-side-of-the-road affair and additionally about got hit by a car alert because I never abstruse how to airing in cities and additionally because bodies in Glasgow drive like pedestrians were invented aftermost week. I started allurement the abode of the toilet rather than the bathroom, because it fabricated me feel British admitting my American emphasis and because I got a bit of a adventure out of adage article that would accomplish a twelve-year-old giggle.
My confinement fabricated every exchange—ordering a basin of soup, affectionate with a adolescent banal over the blow wind—an important allotment of my day rather than addition addition to amaranthine acoustic input. For the aboriginal time in a continued time, my activity didn’t feel black by added people—it acquainted black by me. Since it was absurd to ascertain myself in agreement of grades or clubs or area I lived or the actuality that I like Moulton better, I looked inward. I looked downward. I saw my own anxiety on a austere hillside in a abode that I had abstruse to alarm home and I acquaint it on Instagram.
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