I was afresh in San Francisco on business. I was there on business because, well, I would never go there for pleasure.
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That’s right, I don’t like San Francisco. When talking to ardent travelers, I’ve begin that delivery this assessment is agnate to announcement that you acquisition babyish animals abhorrent or anticipate Michael Jordan is an overrated athlete. Yes, I admission that the setting, with its hills, bay, and bridges, is geographically spectacular. And the burghal doesn’t abridgement for alluring history or absorbing bounded color.
In fact, the botheration with San Francisco may be that it’s a little too colorful. While I was there, I was walking aback from a cine about 11 p.m. This wasn’t a bad neighborhood. I was appropriate abreast Union Square, and the bazaar auberge I appointed to be in walking ambit of the American Political Science Association anniversary affair was beyond the artery from affluence shops.
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Nonetheless, as I neared the antechamber of my hotel, I had to brushoff a streetwalker, who proceeded to grab my arm as I approved to airing accomplished her. I was alike added abashed by this than you ability imagine—because I was already absent by the begrimed shirtless man captivation alternating below the aglow Swarovski assurance beyond the street. In amid hacking coughs, he was shouting “Get acclimated to it!” over and over afresh into an abandoned shoebox. For a moment, I advised the (presumably) ample allowance of application VD and TB in the aforementioned instant. But what absolutely able this abnormally San Franciscan illustration was the saxophonist on the artery bend advanced arena “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
This was my additional night in town. The aboriginal night, walking to dinner, I was approached by a badge administrator who capital to apperceive if I had apparent anyone affianced in a artery fight. Fortunately, I had not. But I’m assured this is not the affectionate of alternation the lath of tourism is acquisitive for an hour afterwards you analysis into your hotel.
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As for the meal itself, well, I accept I knew bigger than to aces a restaurant in the DMZ amid Union Square and the awfully adumbral Tenderloin district. But I like Mexican food, and burritos are a San Francisco specialty. The Internet abreast me this restaurant adjacent was a admired bounded haunt. Maybe the abandoned being who wandered into the restaurant and lunged for my aliment apprehend the aforementioned reviews. Normally, if addition is that atrocious for aliment I would be absorbed to accord it to him. But the agitated motions and advancing glottal noises appropriate that, like a lot of the city’s homeless, this being was stabby. I corralled my aliment with one arm, stiff-armed the hobo with the other, and waited for one of the cooks to hop the adverse and shoo him aback out assimilate the sidewalk.
And did I acknowledgment burghal San Francisco smells absolutely bad? It’s a actual absolute and assured funk—maybe 50 percent marijuana, 50 percent urine. Now drugs and San Francisco are the amber and peanut adulate of American burghal culture. But adage the abode reeks of urine is not hyperbole. In August 2015, a three-story lamp column fell over and landed on a car, almost missing the driver. It was afterwards bent the column had breakable from so abounding bodies micturating on it.
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I apprehend I’m aural like a brutal curmudgeon. San Franciscans could absolutely not affliction beneath what I anticipate of how they run their bounded affairs. But afterwards resorting to anticipated complaints about San Francisco liberals, it does bang me as odd that a burghal that has apparently generated added abundance than any added in animal history over the accomplished brace of decades has absitively to accredit boundless animal tragedy with its access to the homeless. And it did this as New York and added cities fabricated absurd strides charwoman up the streets and demography affliction of people.
It wasn’t all bad, of course. The third and final night I was there, I took a cab to the allegorical Amoeba Music and apparent Haight-Ashbury is affable and gentrified aloof enough. Afterwards that night, I absolved beyond Union Square and up through Chinatown, which was eerily calm for a Friday. I peered through storefront windows at alien Asian goods. And I paused to brainstorm the adventure of careening decline on San Francisco’s stairstep anchorage in a Mustang fastback, against the beautifully lit-up Bay Bridge in the distance. I concluded up at Vesuvio’s, the bar abutting to the acclaimed Burghal Lights bookstore. I hadn’t been there in over 20 years. My earlier sister slung drinks there for a time afterwards she alone out of college. It brought aback addicted memories.
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But the abutting morning, I got up and larboard San Francisco—and my affection was sprinting appropriate abaft me.
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