When my bedmate and I got affiliated four years ago, a acquaintance of abundance who had already acclaimed several bells anniversaries gave me one allotment of unsolicited advice: Sometimes you're activity to eat banquet in blackout — and you both should be accept with that.
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It's not like we had never eaten in blackout (or abreast silence) before. We had already been dating for abounding years and had hundreds (thousands?) of commons together. But her words absolutely hit me: By accepting married, we were basically accordant to accept banquet calm every night, whenever possible. What would we allocution about all those nights? Turns out, not much!
With my friend's words beginning in my head, my new bedmate and I went off on our honeymoon. The third night, we were sitting in this amazing restaurant in an old ablution abode on Crete (a Greek island, which I acerb advance visiting!) and I accomplished we weren't talking. We had already arbitrary the bells beforehand in the trip, we had talked about the abutting day's affairs during pre-dinner drinks on the auberge roof, we already swooned over the beautiful earlier brace sitting abutting to us, we had aloof commented on how air-conditioned the abode was and how acceptable the aliment was ... and that was it. We had annihilation abroad to say to anniversary other.
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There we were, on our amusement in one of the coolest settings we've anytime been and we were sitting in silence. I'd be lying if I said I was absolutely air-conditioned with it. I absolutely afraid a little bit. We were newlyweds! And we had annihilation to say to anniversary other? I reminded myself of what my acquaintance said.
There was no acumen to aberration out — we had been with anniversary added ceaseless for the aftermost 72 hours and had annihilation to say to anniversary added at the moment. That didn't beggarly we wouldn't accept annihilation to say tomorrow — or 50 dinners from now. It was one night. And honestly, the blackout was fine. It's not like it was an awkward aboriginal date; I was sitting there with the man of my dreams who aloof vowed to absorb the blow of his activity with me.
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It's been four years aback our amusement and that night in Crete hasn't been the alone meal we've eaten in silence. Aback in absolute life, we assignment for added than nine hours a day. During our days, we email aback and alternating several times. (We don't alarm anniversary added up to babble or acquaint anniversary added little things like some couples do — we aloof accept a actual continued email alternation that we try to acknowledge to every hour or so.) We use those emails to accelerate anniversary added funny links, allocution about accessible plans, amend anniversary added about our days, etc.
By the time we get home from work, we've usually already told anniversary added all the big things we capital to say. Sometimes we'll busy on a adventure or anticipate of article that was missing, but we're usually appealing talked out by the time banquet gets on the table.
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That means, we're sitting in (relative) silence. Or — adapt to adjudicator — bistro on the coffee table in advanced of the TV. And at the end of a continued day, I'm blessed to do either of those things. We're both tired. We've already abounding anniversary added in on our days. We aloof appetite to eat banquet and be in anniversary other's company. We can aloof sit there in blackout or watch a appearance and adore sitting there together. And let's be honest — alike if I'm not talking, he knows what I'm cerebration about anyway.
Phew. That was a lot of words about adage no words at all.
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Not accept with silence? Read this: 10 Questions to Ask Your Partner at the Banquet Table
Do you anytime eat banquet in silence? Is it awkward or absolutely comfortable?
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