It was a Friday, frequently accepted as a time to eat fish. My wife had ordered apricot cakes and I wasn’t in the mood. In the berth beyond from us, a man was animated over a basin of potato soup.
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I accept a bad addiction of talking to strangers, so I asked, “What’re you acclimation for supper?”
“What abroad but frog legs?” he said with gusto, as if I had asked an arrogant question.
I HAD NEVER BEFORE dined on frog legs, and never advised to. But this man was so acute about them that I anticipation — with a slight shiver — of acclimation them. He assured me that the restaurant area we were dining (Riefe’s) is one of the few Quad-City places that serves frog legs every Friday.
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I ordered abundance with a broiled potato with the anticipation that I could actuality myself with potato if I begin frog legs intolerable. I thought, too, of our old ancestors friend, Gertie Mae, whose eyes would cycle aback and who would collapse aback her Friday adjustment of frog legs was placed afore her. I thought, too, of a baneful acquaintance I already had with frogs, but I will not get into it until afterwards in this space.
WELL, THE FROG LEGS arrived, heavily breaded. They were angular things hidden amid the bill and added greens. With breading, they looked about the array of my arrow finger. I dug in with a angle and addled bone. That was a surprise. I accepted all meat. So I acclimated my fingers, chewing and sucking as best I could to get to the meat, which was absolutely meager. It slipped calmly off those attenuate bones. The anticipation of frog basic did not amuse my appetite.
Well, frog legs did not aftertaste awful. What meat there was had the arrangement of craven wings. The added I nibbled, the added I anticipation that a frog leg is a cantankerous amid angle and the white meat from a chicken. There was little of it there, which admiring me because I had already apprehend that frog leg beef does not advance into accuracy mortis as bound as acquisitive beef in a chicken, for instance. So, the heating from affable can account beginning frog legs to twitch.
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THANK GOODNESS, my frog legs were not twitching. Though the restaurant sells out of frog legs every Friday night, I shall leave them in the approaching to those who flavor the delicacy.
I larboard a apparent allocation of them on my plate, with memories of frogs and the Northwest Business Association and its anniversary frog jumping challenge at the fairgrounds a cardinal of years ago.
I HAD BEEN CONNED into alive the douse tank, a adulterated ache that some may acquisition to be bouncy Midwest fun. You apperceive how it goes. You branch on a lath aloft a abysmal catchbasin of water. For a price, blithe bodies bandy assurance at a target. If they hit it, the innocent one on the bench is dunked.
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As I approached the tank, a adolescent woman in a swimsuit was continued out in the grass, retching. She pleaded with me: “Don’t do that tank; you’ll get sick.”
I SHOULD HAVE listened to her, but I climbed to my perch. At first, no one had the accomplishment to douse me, so I hee-hawed at them. With no humility, a adolescent Little Leaguer stepped up. He was a latter-day Cy Young. Brawl afterwards brawl he tossed, every distinct one auctioning a shorty like me into baptize over my head. Each time, I climbed an accoutrement to get aback on my perch. My aerial were ringing; my eyes stung .
It wasn’t continued until I was nauseous. It wasn’t aloof the water, but every time I landed in the tank, the basal acquainted slimy.
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WHEN MY BRAVE STINT was over, I abstruse that the douse catchbasin was actuality acclimated to abundance all of the big fat frogs to be acclimated afterwards in the frog jumping contest. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I was landing on and wallowing in alive frogs.
Can you accusation me for never acclimation frog legs again?
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