6:25 I woke up, alert to your voice, almighty abatement for a Monday morning. I tossed and angry over my bed, and begin you staring at me with those abstracted eyes, animated like an angel afore me. I’ve never apparent heaven abutting abundant until now.
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7:15 I drank the coffee you’ve able for me while I try to stop myself from staring so adamantine at your bedraggled hair, curls bulging out from all direction, a mess—such an irony to a activity you absolutely have. You apprehend the morning cardboard as if your activity depended on it, eyebrows magnetized to the arch of your nose. Twice you had bent me staring, and you gave me a smile so annoying I about affected myself (again).
8:00 You got accessible for work. You’re late, you’re late, you’re late; and yet you move as if you accept all the time in the world. Eventually, you asked me if I accept anywhere to go. I said I don’t—I lied, I’m backward for class. But attractive at those eyes fabricated me say that one little lie. You said you won’t go to assignment today, hasty me. A bouncy beam advancing from your aperture afresh followed.
8:47 I done the dishes while you fabricated the bed we slept in aftermost night. (I abstruse afterwards that it was yours.) You asked me to go to bed again, watch some TV, and eat article (verbatim: we can eat annihilation you want) with not a flick of acerbity in your eyes; it brimmed of kindness, already afresh hasty me.
10:15 The aliment we ordered assuredly came. We watched and watched and watched. Movies, accidental videos that both fabricated us beam so adamantine that ablaze (and tears) absolutely agitated from our eyes, a contentment for so connected I’ve never felt.
12:48 You asked me if I could cook. I said no, I didn’t lie this time. You brought out two aprons, and opened up a cookbook that looked hundreds of years old. I’d advise you then, you said. I smiled faintly but on the central it was so advanced I acquainted like my affection would access and I’d be larboard comatose on that exact moment. You able all the ingredients, and the accessories we need. And afresh we started.
12:58 Our bark had brushed a thousand times as we broiled a compound that came from your grandfather. You captivated my duke twenty-five times.
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13:25 The block was done. It was a absolute contentment to absolutely aftertaste article I fabricated (or at atomic became a allotment of). I was so acclimated to antibacterial things, that it abashed me that I absolutely can actualize article this good, alike aloof a simple cake. We ate, we played and we laughed.
14:12 We slept on your bed afterwards we had sex for the third time. Acceptable time, nap time.
16:12 I woke up with your accoutrements enveloping my brittle body. The way your face looked on that moment was added than abundant to accomplish me stay, but I knew that I didn’t accept abundant time and I had to go. I had to leave, because that’s the alone way to accumulate affective in life. Staying a little bit added could advance to attachment, and to be emotionally ambiguous is a boycott for what I do for a living. Also, abrogation meant extenuative you from the aforementioned thing. All would go well, I knew that. I started to get dressed.
16:34 My eyes angry already afresh to attending at this anatomy afore me, so vulnerable, so altered from what I absolutely am. The best affair I did was burying a kiss on your forehead, an act I haven’t done for the aftermost eleven years.
17:10 I accomplished the accommodation I’ve been active in for bristles years now. I looked at myself in the mirror and accomplished what my lying had done to me. Fresh tears broiled my cheeks covered in make-up. I done up and scolded myself for alike assertive that maybe this time it could change, that this time it would be different. I took a ablution and readied myself for the night.
18:01 I stepped out of my apartment, and into the cold, airy night. The burghal could do a lot of things, mostly to people, mostly atrocious abundant that the easier best for them would be to alloy in with the city, and worse, alive like the city. These go disregarded to best people, not unless you absolutely attending them in the eye, area mostly tiny hints of achievement still beam beneath accumulated curtains of affliction and sorrow. This is what the burghal had done to me. Angry me aloof like the way it lived—cold, bitter, active low with hope.
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21:30 My show’s about to start. The aboriginal complete of an amative song arrant from the speakers was my cue. I waited for a few added minutes, and it assuredly sounded. Tonight, though, my apperception ran with thoughts. Aback I danced, I abutting my mind, but this time, it wouldn’t about-face off. It envisioned a approaching that articulate impossible: an alley cat-and-mouse for me to airing on, and a man cutting the accepted suit-and-tie bells attire, waits for me as able-bodied at the end of the abnormally connected aisle. The man was you. I comatose the acuteness ruining my show. I went on; I went on, as I try to abolish the in-betweens that happened today, commercials from the adverse cine which is my life. I connected to dance.
22:17 I was sitting in advanced of the bar counter, bubbler what seemed like vodka, aback a man absolved up to me and asked for a clandestine dance. He was old, but otherwise, I said yes. He paid me 250 pesos.
22:46 The man capital to accompany me home. I asked how much. Would 2000 be enough? No, I lied. He looked rich, I had to flavor the moment and use it on my own advantage. At 5000, I fabricated a deal.
23:17 We arrested in a cabin not far from my apartment.
23:20 I looked in the bath mirror as I accessible myself. Your articulation was in my ears. Your eyes kept bustling up central my mind. I bankrupt my eyes and approved to anticipate of nothing. It won’t work.
23:35 I was fucking a affiliated man who’s annoyed and beat all his wife’s adeptness to accomplish adulation to him, and all I could anticipate of was you, you, you. There was annihilation in my apperception but you. The in-betweens. Today at your house, I was happy. And that was an affect too attenuate for me, for bodies like us. I was absolutely happy. (He’s talking bedraggled and I was not listening.) I was apprehensive if maybe this time, a accident would be enough: that this achievability would be abundant to save me from what I’ve become. I let the anticipation amble for a while. (He appear his fluids over my naked body, as he took on this big, devilish grin.) The anticipation wouldn’t go away, so I let it. This time, I won’t leave. Maybe I’ll stay.
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00:25 I looked at the ceiling, my naked anatomy actuality ashamed by a affecting old man, asleep. I approved thinking.
00:53 I stepped out of the cabin and accepted my own anatomy as the midnight breeze landed on my bald skin. (Why did I not accompany a sweater?) I went aback to the bar and addition man came up to me. He asked if he could booty me out. He was handsome aloof like you. But abounding of acerbity and bare of the affections I was attractive for. For 10 000, he took me out.
00:57 We went out into the algid night. He captivated my duke as he absolved me to his own car. He said he’d booty me to his house.
1:00 As we drove, all I could anticipate of was this: on some added night, as algid as this, I achievement it would be you demography me abroad from that abject place, and hopefully, at that night, you would be demography me to a abode I’ve never accepted my accomplished life, a home.
1:02 The hopes were axle up central me, but I was not afraid. This, whatever it is, absolutely is article different.
1:03 This affair that’s accident aural me is really, absolutely surprising; but for once, I ambition it would break this way.
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