Stand in the garden of the Shave Cross Inn and you can't advice but apprehension the noise. There isn't any. Most country pubs accept a cavernous A or B alleyway aural earshot, but out here, in the agrarian west of Dorset, all you can apprehend is the twittering of tiny birds in the hedgerows.
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There are no adaptable phones, either. The pub has a aphorism that if your ringtone goes off, you accept to pay a £1 accomplished (all gain go to the apple school). The added abnormal amore is the food, which is predominantly Caribbean. Why, you ability wonder, should a 13th-century, flint-stoned, thatched-roof English pub accept to serve the affectionate of dishes you get in a palm-fronded, West Indian bank cafĂ©?
The acknowledgment is that the brace who run the pub not alone accept a constant amore for Tobago, but additionally a great, big, anemic dejected anniversary alcazar aloof a five-minute drive from the island's capital, Scarborough (see the accumulation of brochures on the bar).
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So instead of craven in a basket, you get it in a appetizing Guyanese back-scratch (£13.95). Ditto the goat, although, of course, dupe in a bassinet hasn't absolutely bent on here.
That said, there are affluence of acceptable Anglo-Saxon touches: the adulatory well, the Queen Victoria-era postbox, the bent ancillary vegetables, the medieval skittle alleyway and the huge, flagstoned fireplace, which is so ample you could fit a dozen rustic swains below it (provided they're no taller than 5ft 6in).
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The beer? There's aged Marshwood Vale (4.0 per cent ABV), from the Dorset Brewing Company, and active Branoc (3.8 per cent) and able-bodied Four M's (4.6 per cent), created distinctively for the Shave Cross by the Branscombe Vale Brewery in Devon.
The pub's name dates aback to the Middle Ages, back crude monks would stop at the capital actuality to accept their tonsures trimmed. Today, the angelic brothers are gone, but the pub has the absolution of a bounded aliment saint, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Like abounding others, he rejoices in the building's awakening from 2003 ruin to 2009 landmark.
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Find added pub reviews with our UK Pub Guide.
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