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Steve in Detroit writes, “You accept ability and influence. Can you do aggregate in your ability to accomplish abiding that ‘Eat a W’ makes its way into the accepted lexicon? I appetite Ringer writers activity basics about how the Sixers are ‘eating W’s larboard and right,’ or debating if anyone can ‘eat 70 W’s like the Warriors did a few years ago.’ We can additionally go the added way with assorted gags on indigestion, heartburn, and projectile airsickness aback teams lose. There's so abounding means to booty this. Jameis is a genius.”
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Quickstep Espressivo Natural Chestnut Effect Laminate Flooring ... | B And Q Quick Step FlooringI apperceive we’ve been watching that abstract for four days, but assumption what? IT’S DAY FIVE! You apperceive what’s gonna eat a W? This mailbag! We accept so abounding affection emails this anniversary that I about afraid to death! These W’s are lodged in the aback of my throat and I can’t ahem them out! Send us your mailbag questions at themailbag@theringer.com. As always, these are absolute emails from absolute readers.
Q: Area does this Kaepernick Collusion Case abatement on the account of Greatest Legal Moments in Sports? There's the Gold Club, O.J., Vick, Roger Clemens afore Congress, etc. The Best Comical is the Gold Club but in agreement of appulse on a sport, Kaepernick could access O.J., right?—J.C., ashore in Houston
BS: You can’t accommodate annihilation trials: Aaron Hernandez, Oscar Pistorius, Ray Lewis, O.J., they’re all out. As for aggregate abroad …
LEVEL 1 (BORING): Deflategate, Barry Bonds, USFL vs. NFL
LEVEL 2 (DEPRESSING): The Pittsburgh Biologic Trials, Alan Eagleson, Michael Vick, Isiah Thomas–Anucha Browne Sanders
LEVEL 3 (HILARIOUSLY INSANE): The Gold Club, the Clemens Trial
LEVEL 4 (IMPORTANT): Al Davis vs. the NFL, Renée Richards, Curt Flood, Oscar Robertson vs. the NBA
LEVEL 5: (SUPER-DUPER IMPORTANT): The Atramentous Sox Trial, Ali vs. the U.S.
Kaepernick vs. the NFL feels like a Akin 4, but who knows? Could it accept Ali-level resonance if it absolutely chaotic the NFL’s business archetypal and gave 32 billionaires and their stooge allowance a aggregate comeuppance? Is there anyone who doesn’t anticipate he’s accepting blackballed? Alike a absolutely extemporaneous Mike McDermott could appear off a 72-hour poker affair with Worm and still win that case for Kaep.
Q: I anticipate counting on TB12 blockage advantageous is a abundant idea.Signed, the 1992 Celtics—Brent Ruder
BS: That hurt. Speaking of TB12, the Jimmy G barter aggressive my abashed father—an absolutely baby Boston fan who doesn’t affliction that Belichick won bristles Super Bowls—to accuse about the Pats accepting beggared in the Brissett/Dorsett barter while bitching that, “Belichick has never been able to appraise adolescent receivers—EVER” and “I knew we were in agitation with Belichick aback he started hiring his sons and assuming for Nantucket Magazine covers with his wife.” We’ve spent a ton of time talking about it. And here’s what I accept appear to accept …
When Brady is done, Belichick is done.
It’s as simple as that. He kept Garoppolo as an allowance activity for Brady’s assured decline, dealt Brissett because he anticipation he had a Super Bowl aggregation and capital added speed, accomplished over these accomplished two months that Brady was abiding 3-4 added years, accomplished the agenda wasn’t adequate abundant to win a Super Bowl afterwards Brady anyway, affective the Niners aces and gave himself a amphibian accomplishment line. They’re walking out into the football dusk together—and alike better, they won’t get sunburned because Brady will assert that they both alcohol 300 ounces of baptize first.
(And by the way? I accede with my dad … already you alpha hiring your kids in arresting positions, it’s over. Thankfully, cipher at The Ringer has to anguish about my 10-year-old son demography over some day; we can’t alike get him to abrasion a shirt or underwear.)
Q: Apprehend your cavalcade on QB names. Which Will Ferrell appearance would’ve been the best QB name? The choices are: Mustafa, Bob Woodward, Sky Corrigan, Lance DeLune, Jacobim Mugatu, Frank Ricard, Associate Hobbs, Ron Burgundy, Phil Weston, Jack Wyatt, Chazz Reinhold, Ricky Bobby, Harold Crick, Chazz Michael Michaels, Jackie Moon, Brennan Huff, George W. Bush, Allen Gamble, Deangelo Jeremetrius Vickers, Cam Brady, James King, Brad Whitaker, Ashley Schaeffer, Rick Marshall, Steve Butabi, Arnold Darkshner, Gene Frenkle, Marty Culp, Roger Klarvin, Craig Buchanan, Jacob Silj, Neil Diamond.—Ryan Carney
BS: In the words of Colonel Parker, those are some abundant names! The accessible no. 1 choice: addition alleged “Cam Brady” could accept DeShone Kizer’s accuracy, Eli Manning’s advancement and Brock Osweiler’s faculty of architecture and still become a top-5 QB aloof because of his name. Runner-up choices: James King, Rick Marshall. Accomplished ceiling/basement potential: Jackie Moon, Sky Corrigan, Deangelo Jeremetrius Vickers, Associate Hobbs. Worst potential: Lance DeLune, Neil Diamond and, of course, Chazz Michael Michaels, who sounds like addition the Jets would pick. And still might.
Q: In aftermost week’s cavalcade you mentioned that a abstraction begin that: “People tend to approach to jobs that fit their names.” Appetite an archetype that acme them all? Introducing, Dick Chopp, vasectomy specialist. A brace of my accompany went to this guy and affirm by the job he does. Another associate did NOT go to him and had an infection that lasted about a month. Dick Chopp is the abandoned guy I'd assurance to blend about bottomward there. And yes, he goes by Dick. Of advance he does!—Ted, Austin
BS: Obviously I had to Google “Dick Chopp, vasectomy” for the accomplished 15 minutes. Did you apperceive he has a accomplice in his urology convenance alleged Dr. Lester Wang? How is this possible? Do you anticipate Dick Shiner is a accommodating there? (Inside antic for anyone who apprehend aftermost week’s column.) Why don’t Dick Chopp and Lester Wang accept a Viceland appearance about urologists in Austin? Why does Ted accept three accompany who’ve had vasectomies? What the hell is activity on in Austin?????
Q: Literally every amateur needs a nickname, abnormally the fun ones. What about Carson Wentz? Fortunately I accept us covered. Wentz (1) has red hair, (2) plays for the Eagles, and (3) rises from the ashes of acutely burst plays to bear majestic touchdowns. Carson Wentz is The Firebird!—Joe, New Jersey
BS: Little-known fact: Our Ringer ancestors is awfully Philly-heavy acknowledgment to controlling editor Chris Ryan’s advancing attack to abolish me, Stringer Bell–style, and clean The Ringer about a abeyant Philly sports boom. (I’m not worried—just bethink what happened to Stringer Bell.) Anyway, I asked these self-loathing weirdos how they acquainted about “The Firebird.”
One didn’t adulation the appellation but accepted “I don’t abhorrence this.” One asked, “Please don’t jinx this, please.” And three were upset, emailing me aback “I booty breach to this because, to me, The Firebird suggests a affectionate of ambiguous abject bequest car,” “The abstraction of bodies calling WIP to acclaim the fucking ‘Firebird’ in Philly accents makes me appetite to self-harm,” and “If you’re adequate abundant at quarterback, you don’t allegation a appellation … [Marlo Stanfield voice] your name is your name!”
(I accede wholeheartedly. Memorable QBs never allegation nicknames. He’s accomplished actuality Carson Wentz … the ambassador of Wentzylvania and the arch bear of the Wentz Wagon.)
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bandq wood flooring – Meze Blog | B And Q Quick Step FlooringQ: Amuse accommodate some complete admonition to Eagles admirers to advice accumulate us from sniffing our own farts afterwards starting 8-1.—Jack
BS: Positives to accumulate remembering: authorization QB; antic advanced seven; accessible 1-seed; awful NFC; no Aaron Rodgers; all-a-quiver Pats and Seahawks teams; abeyant home playoff amateur adjoin Case Keenum and Jared Goff. Also, Doug Pederson isn’t accepting out-coached by any NFC drillmaster except the King of Millennials (Sean McVay). And isn’t a accessible NFC championship adventurous that’s absolutely The Guys Cleveland Could Accept Had Bowl (Wentz and Goff) aloof about the Brownsiest affair that could happen?
One added bonus: The 2010s isn’t aloof the decade of “My admired [blank] angry out to be a bad person,” and “Who cares? We’re apparently all accepting absolute up soon,” it’s additionally the decade of “I can’t accept [blank] won a championship!” The Eagles adequate a SUPER BOWL???? That would be the 29th-most amazing sports actuality of this decade. You’re in adequate calmly with the Firebird. Don’t overthink it.
Q: Why isn't “Utah Jazz” a brand of music? Like I appetite to annal through XM radio and acquisition the “UTAH JAZZ” approach and acquisition out absolutely what instruments/lyrics this agitative new brand would have.—Jed, Wisconsin
BS: That brand already exists. Isn’t Yacht Rock the aforementioned affair as Utah Jazz?
Q: As a Cleveland fan, every time you accessible a podcast talking about Kyrie my body crushes. But his comedy in Boston is NOT a revelation. Cavs admirers knew he had this in him. We’ve been calling him “Mr. 4th Quarter” aback his career began. There is a acumen LeBron came aback above the “Returning Home” angle. There is a acumen every Cavs fan believed Kyrie was as adequate as Steph Curry afore every Finals. Anyone who says “He can’t win afterwards LeBron” was missing the point: Surround Kyrie with the appropriate players and this was consistently there. He begin a abundant drillmaster and took what he abstruse from arena with LeBron on the bigger stage. Again, Cavs admirers knew he had this in him. Enjoy, Boston. I’m activity to go bake my eye sockets now.—Suman V.
Q: Kyrie can avert and pass? Area the hell was that in CLE? He can go fuck himself. Cleveland should lose all of our teams—we're hopelessly auspicious for laundry beat by athletes and admiral who antipathy us. Fuck everything, but abnormally fuck Kyrie “The Polymath” Irving.—Daniel Donatelli
BS: As you can tell, we had a two-way tie for “Most Bitter Kyrie-Related Email of the Week.” (Find my Kyrie-related thoughts at the alpha of this podcast.)
Q: You adulation it aback athletes date. What do you anticipate about the approaching kids of anew affianced Caroline Wozniacki and David Lee? Did anyone alike apperceive they were dating?—PC, New York
BS: I ability accomplish this a active mailbag gimmick: THE RINGER’S ATHLETE MATING BREAKDOWN. Who would be our sponsor for this? An arrect dysfunction drug? Let’s accept Hubie Brown breach this bottomward for us:
“OK Bill, we accept David Lee at 6-foot-9 and Caroline Wozniacki at 5-foot-10—right THERE, you apperceive you are accepting a actual TALL child. At atomic 6-foot-4, maybe 6-foot-5. You additionally apperceive you’re accepting a actual COORDINATED child, and on top of that, David Lee is left-handed, so it ability be a LEFT-HANDED child. Both of them accept absurd hand-eye coordination, so you apperceive you’re accepting INCREDIBLE HAND-EYE COORDINATION, and agitating FOOTWORK as well. She’s additionally Danish, and as we apperceive by now, Danish men are SURPRISINGLY WELL-ENDOWED, which would accord that adolescent arresting balance. So you’re attractive at a well-coordinated, well-endowed, awkward child, about 6-foot-5—that sounds like the abutting Chris Mullin to me.”
Q: Did you apprehension that LeBron campaign in his new Nike commercial?—John Gelhard
BS: They capital to accomplish it realistic.
Q: Has there anytime been a amateur added destined to end up on the Patriots than Clemson's Hunter Renfrow? White? Check. Beneath 6 anxiety tall? Check. Former quarterback? Check. Boilerplate speed? Check. Runs brittle routes and has abundant hands? Check again. A standout in a added sport? Check. Walked assimilate the team? Check. You apperceive Belichick will somehow get this guy in the fifth annular and accept him communicable 100 passes a division out of the aperture by 2020. Edelman should put his abode on the market.—Nick Fitz
BS: Nick calmly could accept fabricated this guy up and I would accept believed it. I about watch academy football. (Thinking.) Wait, did Nick accomplish this guy up?
Q: I accept been communicable up on The Rewatchables pods this week, and was alert to the Point Breach one, area you mentioned your dream job on a coffer robbery aggregation would be break driver. What car would you use? And amuse acquaint me it would be a stick about-face à la Baby Driver.—Kevin, Winnipeg
BS: You act like I haven’t been cerebration about this for the accomplished 30 years. There’s abandoned one adequate accepted answer: the atramentous Audi S8 Plus. It’s like a baseborn badge car, but nicer. And I’m not alike adorning the stick about-face allotment of that question.
Q: At what point does an amateur like Tom Cruise cast the about-face from I’m still adolescent and still got it to the aged handsome old guy. Is there a actual antecedent for the moment aback the about-face is “flipped?”—Justin B.
BS: It should accept been 3-4 years ago. We don’t appetite to watch Tom Cruise pretend he’s still Tom Cruise anymore; the assembly for his accomplished two movies accepted as much. He needs to accomplish the about-face like Paul Newman did at age 57 (The Verdict, 1982), or Clint Eastwood at age 62 (Unforgiven, 1992), or alike 51-year-old Sly Stallone (Cop Land, 1997). How is he STILL arena Ethan Hunt? He’s 55 years old!
In Amy Nicholson’s agitating Cruise allotment from 2014, she describes how Cruise took off afterwards Risky Business, abolished for two years, afresh fabricated a concerted accomplishment to abstain airheaded movies and sequels and assignment abandoned with the best admiral and actors. But afterwards Eyes Wide Shut, article addled and he ONLY fabricated airheaded movies and sequels. Now, he has to cast the calligraphy again. He has to acquisition his adaptation of The Verdict.
(For the record, I annulled my Cruise division tickets afterwards Jack Reacher: Never Go Back—it was like watching a absolutely baldheaded Hulk Hogan ample up in his mid-50s. But what a 35-year run! Actual few regrets! Cipher had a academy cine PER than Cruise except for maybe Harrison Ford. There’s one aftermost affiliate that he needs to write. And it’s not activity sequels or Top Gun 2. The abandoned condonable Cruise sequels, at his age, are Jerry Maguire 2 or Cocktail 2. Two movies that, by the way, I WOULD PAY TO FUCKING SEE!!!!!! I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU, TOM CRUISE! I aloof don’t appetite you accepting into fistfights, aerial fighter jets, and defusing bombs anymore.)
Q: I can't accept The Challenge XXX: Dirty 30 is over and you never did an NBA/Challenge crossover column! I was so affected affronted I came up with my own comparisons.
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Waterproof Laminate Flooring For Bathrooms B Q - Carpet Vidalondon | B And Q Quick Step FlooringTony–Dwight Howard (extremely accurate); Kailah–Dion Waiters (both anticipate they’re the best, both beneath boilerplate in PER); CT–LeBron (forces of attributes who never age, alike admitting they've both absent a footfall they can footfall it up aback needed); Camila–Boogie Cousins (forces of attributes in a altered way, could abstract up at any time); Jordan–Russell Westbrook (only go abounding speed, bigger abandoned than as partners); Cara Maria–Kyrie Irving (the bashful abandon of abortive partnerships who now advance on their own); Derrick–Kyle Lowry (tough overachievers); Tori–Kristaps Porzingis (only because Laurel is Giannis).—Shaughn B.
BS: Tori as Kristaps? What? The Challenge has no Kristaps. There’s never been a 7-foot-3 aberration scorer who can assure the rim on The Challenge. I’m positive. I accept Tori as Ben Simmons (stunningly adequate amateur season, ambidextrous, approaching Hall of Famer if she can break healthy), Leroy as Blake Griffin (all the tools, keeps falling short), Cory as Joel Embiid (lots of bits talk, no after-effects yet), Aneesa as Zach Randolph (if you’re starting her in 2017, you’re in trouble), Darrell and Bananas as Wade and Dirk (the all-timers with annihilation larboard to prove), and Markelle Fultz as the dude from Are You the One who abolished in the aboriginal episode. (Sorry, I had to.) By the way, I’m 48 years old.
Q: I cartel any of the Ringer agents to dip a pancake in a jar of peanut butter, eat it, ablution it bottomward with maple syrup, afresh try to drive for bristles account afterwards dying. Was this arena to appearance Billy Bob’s allegation to actuality huge for football? Can’t delay for the Varsity Blues Rewatchables podcast.—Mark, Bethlehem, Pa.
BS: That podcast is advancing eventually than you think. You apperceive what’s not coming? Varsity Blues 2. I allotment Clippers tickets with Blues producer, 30 for 30 director, and bent Philly fan Mike Tollin. During the CP3 era, we were so apathetic at one of those everyone-hates-each-other home amateur that I affronted anybody in our area by casting Varsity Blues 2.
This was appropriate afterwards Paul Walker died, so I had Blues 2 starting at Lance Harbor’s burial because, I beggarly … how could you not accede Paul Walker/Lance Harbor? Lance was West Canaan’s accomplished drillmaster who won assorted titles and could accept larboard for a adequate academy job, abandoned the boondocks meant too abundant to him … and now he’s gone. And, of course, Mox allotment for the burial as a ashamed Brown University abstract assistant who absent his administration afterwards accepting bent sleeping with a student, and he needs a job, and the aggregation needs an acting coach, and Tweeder’s son is the hard-partying, out-of-control QB, and you can assumption what happens next. But I couldn’t allocution Tollin into it. Hardball 2, on the added duke …
Q: As a constant SAN DIEGO Chargers fan (sigh), I anticipate I've appear up with a band-aid to how the Chargers can assuredly become L.A.'s team. Aboriginal step, lose—they're already world-class at accolade altered means to do this. Abutting step, abstract Josh Rosen, a.k.a. The Chosen Rosen. In one quick move they've added all the UCLA alumni and Jewish communities in L.A. That's gotta be account at atomic 27,000 people, right?—Kevin, Austin
BS: It’s a adventurous and ablaze plan. Speaking of Rosen, I apperceive the Astros bankrupt their World Alternation aridity but shouldn’t we bethink the 2017 postseason for catastrophe a altered drought? A star-making achievement by Alex Bregman? Big Joc Pederson home runs? Sandy Koufax sightings? The Phillies hiring Gabe Kapler? I apperceive Cleveland admirers were aghast aback the Association absent to the Yankees, but I feel like a altered association ability accept won the 2017 postseason. I asked The Ringer’s Joel Solomon if this was the bigger ages in contempo Jewish sports history. Here’s what he wrote back:
“It’s been a while. We had to accord with Ryan Braun’s PED suspension, Julian Edelman’s ACL, and the end of Jordan Farmar’s career. Our aftermost big highlight may accept been Walter Sobchak bowling in The Big Lebowski. Sure, maybe we should accept been added optimistic afterwards Israel’s hasty Cinderella run in the World Baseball Classic and, of course, Goldberg’s WWE appellation run. But accepting a Jewish brilliant on BOTH World Alternation teams was a bifold mitzvah! It was like Judd Apatow directed the series. The Dodgers and Astros accumulated for a almanac 25 home runs—Jews hit bristles of them!!! Bandy in Kapler and Chosen Rosen and what’s next? Lonzo converting to Ballstein? All I apperceive is Hanukkah came aboriginal this year.”
Q: It's way too early, but based on your antecedent consequence of the aboriginal three weeks, what would the top 10 picks of the abstract attending like if you could accommodate it now?—Paul from Seattle (by way of Chicago)
BS: It’s way too early. And I’m activity to change my apperception 10 added times this division and address this as a absolute cavalcade at some point. Remember, I amount rookies based on “Can they advice me win a title?” and not “Can they advice me win my fantasy league?” At atomic we can amount out who got drafted lower than they should have. Appropriate now, these nine guys would go academy in any abstract than they originally did. I’m baronial these nine in adjustment of my claimed favorites on November 10, 2017 (knowing this could all change in 10 days) …
Jayson Tatum (3): The aboriginal aces every time. Pierce beyond with Granger, maybe better.
Jonathan Isaac (6): Not abiding what he is yet, aloof apperceive I haven’t apparent it before.
Lauri Markkanen (7): The Finnisher! Mild Dirk 2.0 potential. Repeat: Mild.
John Collins (19): An old-school able-bodied 6-foot-10 guy?!?!? Yes, please!
Kyle Kuzma (27): I didn’t appetite to get sucked in but … fuck.
Frankie Smokes (8): Destructive defensively. Fearless. Had to acknowledgment him alike if he abandoned goes 1 aces higher.
OG Anunoby (23): Shouldn’t accept collapsed that far.
Jordan Bell (38): Shame on the Cheap-Ass Bulls. SHAME.
Semi Ojeleye (37): Either the Poor Man’s Draymond or the Homeless Man’s Draymond. Hey, at atomic my aggregation got a adaptation of a Draymond!
Q: Abundant NFL QBs accept names like the ones you mentioned in aftermost week's column. But why did Colt McCoy abort in the NFL? Because he has a abundant academy QB name—that’s a altered category, names that about assume fabricated up like Colt McCoy, Baker Mayfield, Ryan Tannehill, Dak Prescott, or annihilation with brand (EJ Manuel, A.J. McCarron, etc.), or annihilation with adumbration (Tim Tebow, Kirk Cousins, Connor Cook) or any aboriginal name catastrophe in “y” or “ie” (Johnny Manziel, Teddy Bridgewater, Joey Harrington, Landry Jones).—Victor Valenzuela
BS: I’m bottomward with this. You brought up a arresting wrinkle: Dak Prescott is aggravating to become the aboriginal QB aback Joe Montana to win a Super Bowl with a abundant academy QB name AND a abundant NFL QB name. That’s a alpine task. I mean, it’s Joe Montana! He won four Super Bowls, affiliated the babe from the Schick commercials and starred in one of the funniest SNL sketches ever. Don’t afflict Joe, he’ll be in his room.
Anyway, I asked The Ringer’s three academy football experts if they accustomed the theory. Rodger Sherman alleged it “stunningly accurate, Charlie Ward and Brady Quinn are added proof.” Mallory Rubin additionally accustomed and added, “Strong agree. Tim. Couch.” And Ben Glicksman active off but not afore suggesting an added class for “names that you could calmly apprehend Gus Johnson agreeable incomprehensibly. This would accompany in quarterbacks such as Lamar Jackson, Sam Darnold, and Josh Rosen. Is it a accompaniment that Johnson was calling the adventurous in which Rosen led UCLA to a 34-point second-half improvement in a win over Texas A&M? I anticipate not.”
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Ostend Natural Oxford Oak Effect Laminate Flooring 1.76 m² Pack ... | B And Q Quick Step FlooringQ: You’re the GM—you accept two choices for your aggregation for the QB position. You demography best Jay Cutler or best Jeff George?—Harry Webb, Nuku’alofa, Tonga
BS: Readers accept been sending me Cutler/George emails for about a decade. In 2009 and 2010, they asked if Cutler was the abutting George. From 2011 to 2014, they aloof beatific Cutler/George jokes because Cutler WAS the abutting George. Now, it’s 2017 and they’re allurement me to accept amid them. With Cutler, you’re affirmed a disappointing, confusing, spiritless, active division that avalanche amid 6-10 and 10-6, and afterward, you’re activity to appraise his stats and go, “Wait, that’s a little bigger than I thought!” and allocution yourself appropriate aback into him.
With George, you accept a 50 percent adventitious of your division absolutely cratering. He went 1-15, 2-9 and 4-12 in three altered seasons. He larboard Indy and Atlanta and their admirers HATED him afterward. He got accursed by the Falcons for a agreeable bout with his drillmaster on the sidelines. He could additionally rip off 15-yard arctic ropes and 60-yard bombs like cipher added than maybe John Elway. Aback he abutting armament with Randy Moss and Cris Carter in 1999 (9-3 as a amateur with an amazing 32 TDs, including four in Minnesota’s 49-37 Annular 2 accident to the Rams), that aggregation had a academy beam than any Cutler was on. Alike better, George’s basement was like seven floors added that Cutler’s basement—it was like the aperture to football hell.
To recap: Jeff George either gave you a fun football team, or a aggregation so bad that you’d end up with a top-5 pick. And he was added fun to accuse about. And he ability get into a agreeable bout with a drillmaster you never liked, anyway. I’d rather accept Jeff George.
Q: George Springer won the Willie Mays accolade for World Alternation MVP, but he additionally won article appropriately important: The Best Aflame Dugout/Home Run Trot Celebrations. What’s the appropriate name for this award?—Dexter, Houston
BS: Wait, wait, delay … we accept to breach those awards up. Best celebratory home run trots abatement beneath the awning of the Carlton Fisk Award: His series-saving home run in the ’75 World Alternation angled as the avant-garde TV era’s aboriginal acclaimed baseball celebration, as able-bodied as a cardinal arena in Adequate Will Hunting. You were at Adventurous 6???
As for best aflame dugout celebrations … I beggarly … how do we not name that afterwards George Springer? He fabricated it an art form! Did you anytime anticipate a baseball brilliant would booty Michael Phelps’s “My Assistant Aloof Won Me The Gold Medal Relay By 1/100th of A Second” lean-back bifold anchor pump scream, amalgamate it with Jimmy Connors’s 1991 U.S. Accessible agreeable anchor pump shakes, bandy in a birr of 2005 Masters Tiger Woods, afresh afresh absolve this orgasmic amalgam for an absolute baseball postseason?
If addition anytime threw The Sports Anniversary Awards, we’d duke out awards alleged afterwards Fisk; Bjorn Borg (tennis); Brandi Chastain (soccer); Kirk Gibson (best anniversary while injured); Bill Gramatica (best injury-causing celebration); Kevin McHale (best use of arm pits); Magic Johnson (hugging); Pearl Washington (sprinting off the floor/field); the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Aggregation (team euphoria); George Springer (dugout); Chris Chambliss (casual fan violence); Bridgette Wilson-Sampras (spouse); Dikembe Mutombo (lying on the floor); Tiger Woods (golf); Michael Phelps (Summer Olympics); Tug McGraw (pitcher); Tim Tebow (college football); Conor McGregor (MMA); Alex Ovechkin (hockey); Mark Messier (with the Stanley Cup); Jim Valvano (coach); Ricardo Mayorga–Robbie Fowler (most inappropriate); Larry Bird (coolest in the moment); Sam Cassell (best use of testicles or affected testicles); Kobe Bryant (most abandoned attack to rip off an already accustomed celebrator); The Fab Bristles (coolest accumulation celebration); The Fun Bunch (most contrived/awkward accumulation celebration); the Vlade Divac No Arms Anniversary Accolade (best wholly aboriginal celebration); the MJ Shrug (best arrogant celebration); Michael Jordan Lifetime Achievement Accolade (best arrangement of celebrations); and best important, The Billy White Shoes Johnson Accolade (best celebrator of the year). Continued alive Billy White Shoes.
Q: Tony Romo is a abundant analyst appropriate now, but how continued will he be this good? Isn't he abundant at admiration plays because he aloof played adjoin all these players and coaches two years ago? With every casual year, he gets a footfall abroad from actuality a guy beginning out of the adventurous and a footfall afterpiece to Phil Simms. I put the over/under of the year he becomes Gruden at 2023.5—Jack, Calgary
BS: You chaw your tongue. Romo is a broadcasting comet—he’s the abutting John Madden. We’re accepting 25 years and an iconic video adventurous out of him. Here’s my question: Who’s the abutting Phil Simms? In added words, which accustomed anchorperson aback angry into a Cool Machine/Master of the Accessible about four years ago, abandoned it took us four added years to apprehend it? Your nominees: Troy Aikman, Jon Gruden, Mark Jackson. There’s an answer. I don’t appetite to be mean. (And by the way, we can accept co-winners.)
Here’s the thing: Aback you’re announcement a antic accident as the advance blush analyst, we’re ambience the bar at that Romo/Smoltz/Collinsworth/Kerr akin for advance blush analysts consistently (a) pointing out actuality that we wouldn’t know, (b) answer why article aloof happened, and (c) admiration things that appear afore they do. If you’re consistently falling abbreviate with observations like “This is a huge comedy appropriate here” and “I adulation watching this guy, he’s article else,” or you’re aloof lapsing into cool over and over afresh afterwards absolutely alms anything, afresh either footfall it up or accomplish way for the abutting Romo (especially if you’ve been out of the alliance for bristles years or more).
We appetite to apprentice actuality aback we watch these games. We appetite to be educated, surprised, and entertained—in that order. If you’re 1-for-3, it’s time to go. If you’re 0-for-3, it’s absolutely time to go. (P.S.: You apperceive who could become the NBA’s Romo if ESPN confused him to games? Paul Pierce. But abandoned if he put in the work. Not abiding he would.)
Q: Any time you acknowledgment The Ringer’s NBA baggy in a podcast I accumulate picturing you guys authoritative dozens of jokes about Royce Young’s latest arresting pro-Westbrook tweet. Why don’t you allegation $4.99 a ages for bodies to apprehend your NBA Slack?—Jonah, Frederick, Md.
BS: You’re not far off. Our NBA Baggy is a abundant beverage of Westbrook-related arguments, affected barter suggestions, NBA gossip, Giannisgasms, Porzingasms, bodies allurement “WTF?” about the Suns or Bulls, bodies authoritative fun of awkward media tweets, and anybody trolling Chris Ryan with Markelle Fultz updates. It’s apparently account $9.99 a month, to be honest.
Q: Joe Flacco's acknowledgment on his focus afterwards the bye week: “We aloof accept to go afterwards it. We can't sit aback and aloof apprehend us to not lose football games.” Is it aloof me or is Joe acumen he's a awful quarterback and auditioning for the abutting commentating job? I'm not so abiding he wouldn't be able to ample Dan Dierdorf's double-negative shoes nicely.—Paul, Saskatoon, Canada
BS: These are abundant points. Also, what sums up Baltimore’s run at accepting the best arid 8-8 division in NFL history: Justin Tucker actuality their best fantasy player, or their QB adage “We can’t sit aback and aloof apprehend us to not lose football games?” They’d be 12-point favorites over any added NFL aggregation in the Arid Finals. How is Jeff Fisher not apprenticeship this team?
Q: Anybody loves the accumulation TD celebrations so far in 2017, but it's abandoned a amount of time afore addition goes WAY over the line. What would be the best acceptable to draw a abeyance or a Kaepernick-ian blackballing from the league? My money is on “performing an dissection and extracting the CTE-ridden academician (the football).”—Ross M., San Francisco
BS: That beyond every band as able-bodied as like 250 added lines—but brainstorm if addition did that to accession CTE awareness? What would the alliance do? Could it append that amateur for … adopting acquaintance for the league’s distinct bigger affair appropriate now? You’re right, though: That anniversary has the accomplished abeyant to get a amateur Kaepernicked. But here’s my dream touchdown anniversary …
The Mock Goodell Draft-Day Hug.
Here’s how it goes. Guy array a touchdown. A assistant runs 10 anxiety abroad from him, stops, and fake-announces a name at a affected podium, afresh turns against the scorer. The scorer afresh walks over to the amateur like he’s aloof been drafted; they adapt one of those obnoxiously over-the-top, full-body Goodell hugs; afresh bristles teammates blitz in advanced of them like affected photographers, afresh the scorer and Affected Goodell affectation for affected pictures.
And afresh … the scorer turns and clotheslines Affected Goodell like they’re Paul Orndorff and Hulk Hogan. Affected Goodell fake-falls to the arena and 7-8 players appear over and fake-kick him. Now THAT would get anybody suspended.
Let’s blast out some Anniversary 10 picks. I hated aftermost week’s slate, about backward away, afresh talked myself into a Seahawks money band action that exploded all over me like a adulterated firework. (The lesson, as always: Aback you apperceive you should break away, break the F away.) This week, I absolutely adulation the slate. We’re putting $770 to win $700 on the afterward wagers …
["776"]
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