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I aftermost saw Leonard Cohen a few months ago. He had asked me to appear to his place. Afterwards abrupt pleasantries, he said to me, “Reb, I am accepting accessible to drag off this bitter coil. I acquire some questions for you.”

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He and I had announced about “Hamlet” added than a few times. I knew the comedy and abnormally the address were abutting to his heart, and, at that moment, afterpiece than ever. He knew he was anon not to be, at atomic in this breakable frame. I bethink cerebration to myself, “I acquire to bethink every chat we say.”

We batten best than we anytime had before, maybe four or bristles hours straight. Children and grandchildren affably alternate our talk. Adam and Jessica popped in, with adolescent Cassius Cohen in tow, advantageous the allowance with a alternation of acicular questions and comments. Lorca came in. Viva lit up the room. Leonard afford his age and blemish for a moment and took on a crimson of joy.

Rebecca De Mornay, his above fiancée, chock-full in. He approved to argue her to appear to synagogue. We had some banquet and cookies. He asked me if I capital to acquire to the anthology he was alive on. He played me advance from “You Appetite It Darker” from his computer. I decidedly remembered the appellation song, and additionally “Steer Your Way”:

Steer your aisle through the painThat is far added absolute than youThat burst the catholic modelThat addled every viewAnd amuse don’t accomplish me go thereTho’ there be a god or not

Year by yearMonth by monthDay by dayThought by thought

If you are accustomed with Lurianic Kabbalah, and its capital agnostic interpretation, Sabbateanism, you will acquire this album, these two songs, and I anticipate abundant of his anatomy of balladry and lyrics. I anticipate that whatever drew Leonard to me, for me to be his clergyman these aftermost 10 years, was that for anniversary of us, Lurianic Kabbalah gave articulation to the absurd brokenness of the animal condition. The affliction of the Divine accident permeates reality. We accede it; it inhabits us. We can abjure it. Or we can abstraction and advise it, address it and sing its atrocious songs.

Leonard and Anjani

I met Leonard and his then-partner Anjani Thomas aback I officiated at the bells of Larry Klein and Luciana Souza in August 2006. Larry had produced the anthology “Blue Alert,” with music by Anjani and lyrics by Leonard.

After the wedding, I was built-in abutting to Leonard and Anjani. They interrogated me thoroughly. Leonard listened carefully. He had this slight beam aback he listened. He could see the befalling for wit, either from himself or from a bold altercation partner, a mile a way. Leonard was absorbed in my cast of Judaism, which I alleged at the time Post Orthodox Neo Chasidic. He chuckled at the acronym.

I alleged my wife, Meirav, afterwards the accession (she was in Israel) and asked her if she had heard of Leonard Cohen. She about fainted continued distance. “I acclimated to cry myself to beddy-bye aback I was in aerial school, autograph balladry and alert to his albums.” “Oops” I thought.

I did some analysis on Leonard that anniversary and was astounded. I bought and listened to several of his albums, got his songbooks. I ordered his books of balladry and sank into them. I listened to “Blue Alert” in bugged silence, and afresh aback my wife alternate from Israel.

I was very, actual confused by that album, and aggregate else. I was acutely affected by him. I realized, ruefully, that I had been in the attendance of a Abundant Man. Oh, well.

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I was added than abashed — flabbergasted? — aback Leonard and Anjani absolved into shul the abutting Shabbat. Turns out that Anjani capital to appear for added of the airy attitude and she encouraged him to come, alive this was article with which he would connect. Leonard was abashed about abutting a synagogue. They became regulars, accessory weekly.

Anjani and Leonard additionally started accessory my Monday night classes, Jewish airy attitude dharma talks. I accomplished Mussar, gave talks on Chasidut and led meditations. I did not apperceive yet that Leonard was a Buddhist monk. I apparently would acquire been affected arch meditations in advanced of him had I known. He would sit in the advanced row, shoes off, in his signature suit, tie and fedora, eyes closed, listening, radiant. I asked him what he admired about my teachings. What in particular?

“It’s not aloof the words,” he said. “You are a healer.” I was taken aback.

Leonard and Anjani backward for cafeteria afterwards services. Anjani and my wife became abutting accompany (and abide so). Leonard and I became abutting but never chummy. He absolutely was abundant added adequate about my wife, whom I anticipate he absolutely loved. He and I alone talked about abysmal actuality until it aching and we had to stop. We weren’t able to chitchat.

Deep discussions

The congregants admired Leonard. He was genteel, alike chivalrous. He enjoyed the association — the music, the aliment and the vibe. I asked him already why he admired Ohr HaTorah and he said, “Because you are not uptight.”

A congregant already said to him she was blessed that he had begin a abode to convenance his Judaism. Leonard again acicular over to me and said, “It’s not because it’s Jewish. It’s that man that I appear for. I would chase him if he were flipping burgers.”

I don’t acquire that, but I can acquaint you what I think. Leonard (he alleged himself Eliezer and me “Reb”) pushed me adamantine to explain my booty on the kabbalah.

Lurianic Kabbalah sees the breaking of the argosy as the anapestic accuracy that authentic the accident of the animal being. Aback I took over the mysticism chic at the Academy for Jewish Religion, California, about 2003, I formed my way through Scholem’s archetypal “Sabbatai Sevi” and saw the close accuracy in kabbalah’s greatest heresy. Leonard additionally had apprehend this abundant tome, and about aggregate on kabbalah that I had read. (He and I both advised from Daniel Matt’s adept adaptation of the Zohar.)

We both had apparent the alarming atramentous luminosity. We aggregate a apple of Divine absence, except for a burst residue. We aggregate a accepted language, a accepted nightmare. I anticipate Leonard assuredly begin a clergyman who batten the accuracy from which he wrote. I batten about it adventurous because I anticipate I was added abashed not to allege this truth. Like Leonard a bit, I guess. I was a acceptable teacher. He, on the added hand, was a abundant poet. What took me a half-hour to say, he could say in three words.

We generally came aback to one affair of dispute. By temperament, but maybe added as a able obligation, I offered a aisle of acclimation the burst vessels. I anticipate Leonard could not acquire that suture. Spiritually, I am somewhat equipoised amid Neoplatonism and Gnosticism — capacity about which we batten often. Leonard generally took the Gnostic turn. He said to me that the animal action is burst into a box into which the burst body does not fit. We all chafe, terribly.

After abounding of those discussions, I told him that I anticipation some of his balladry were celebration (especially his “Book of Mercy”), celebration of the breakage. He told me that he anticipation aggregate he wrote was liturgy. I was a assistant of liturgy, and I advised him the greatest liturgist of our time, and one of the greatest of all time.

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Where from? Leonard’s grandfathering was a Talmid Chacham, a Talmud scholar. Leonard let me borrow a archetype of a sefer his grandfathering wrote. A accurate rabbinic archetypal — and beautifully written. As far as I know, it charcoal untranslated and unavailable.

I told him about my acting affiliation with Rav Yakov Leib HaKohain, a airy brood of the Donmeh, a cocky proclaimed Neo-Sabbatean. I bankrupt off but Leonard kept up. I bluntness acquainted a bit afraid acquirements from a Sabbatean, neo or not. Leonard had no such qualms.

Soul of a poet

Once in an old radio account in Canada, the accuser asked Leonard if he had anytime advised alteration his name. He said, “Yes, to September.” She said, in some surprise, “Leonard September?” and he said, “No, September Cohen.” I anticipate I knew him able-bodied abundant to apperceive that he capital to say “Elul” (the ages afore the Canicule of Awe). For those afflicted with the apricot anguish of the burst soul, Elul is a time of acute close analysis advancing for the Canicule of Awe.

Often afterwards services, he asked me if I capital to apprehend a poem. “Gladly,” I would say. Once, we sat bottomward and he recited a poem, archetypal darkly beaming Cohen. Short lines. Couplets. Maybe 20 stanzas, conceivably more. Serrated bend of a annihilation weapon acclimated on a guy who had it advancing to him.

After assimilation in that one, I asked him how continued it took him to address it. I had accepted him for about a year, so I thought, “A month?” I absolutely anticipate he said, “Fifteen years.” He additionally recited for me one time abounding abstruse verses of “Bird on the Wire.” Like thousands, I guess, I still sing that song to myself. Aloof addition bashed in the midnight choir.

He adorable me balladry he was alive on (I anticipate I was on a list) until the anniversary afore he passed. He wrote me on Friday that he admired he could appear to shul to apprehend my new alternation of talks on a abysmal dive into Genesis. He died on Monday.

Once at lunch, he asked a accumulation of bodies if they would like him to recite a composition based on a address I gave. Bodies accepted a abrupt “Book of Longing” affectionate of gem. This composition additionally had maybe 20 stanzas. He wrote that one in about a week.

Leonard and the Muse

Even admitting Leonard and Anjani breach up a brace of years ago, best of the time we knew Leonard, he was with Anjani. She brought him to the house. We would adapt commons and bless holidays together.

It was candied and funny to anticipate how accustomed it was. One Thanksgiving, we had Leonard and Anjani and David and Rebecca Mamet over. The women were in the kitchen advancing aliment and the men were on the aback balustrade bubbler whiskey.

Not so accustomed was that we on the balustrade eventually talked about area our account appear from, because bodies consistently ask us. Fewer bodies ask me, but bodies ask me nonetheless.

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Leonard said, as he generally did, that if he knew area his balladry came from, he would go there added often. We all batten about activity that we were in the account of the Muse (the Bat Kol). We approved to approach her. We had to be accurate about her. I bethink we all chock-full talking at once, accordant silently that she did not appetite bodies talking about her as if she weren’t alert in. We said abundant and chock-full and went aback to bubbler and swapping jokes. Man, I admired his laugh. He would acquire a belly acquaintance of authentic joy at a punchline. The affliction would cease for a moment.

One night aback we had them over, Leonard asked Anjani to sing from “Blue Alert.” Anjani sat at our babyish grand, Leonard beyond from her cautiously singing forth with a adorable attending on his face. Meirav and I about dared to breathe. The words, the piano, the choir — I was transported to addition world. I had the strangest thought: “Now I acquire music.” Aback Anjani sang “The Mist,” Meirav and I bankrupt into tears. Again they started disturbing up. Again Anjani said, “He wrote that aback he was 17.”

A giving man

Let me acquaint you how acceptable Leonard was. First, afterwards I knew him about a year, he gave me one of his fedoras, appropriate off of his head.

Second, aback our abbey was abrading basal during a barbarous adjustment of the battered architecture we bought, Leonard (with several added families) came to the rescue. He was actual acceptable (always handed his checks in person) and beholden of the assignment my wife (the artist and accepted contractor) was doing. On one of this visits to the building, he spent a abounding afternoon with Meirav. He captivated in aggregate we had done, abnormally the café and the preschool. He visited with the kids in the pre-kindergarten. (The agents about fainted.) Got some of the lentil soup that he admired — he admired to alarm it “Jacob’s stew.”

He generally active his emails “Old Priest” and so I alleged myself “Old Sarge.” He got a bang out of alive that I was a baker in the Marines a actor years ago and audition some of the belief from my aggressive days. Aback we talked politics, he would adduce a band of his: “Oh, and one added thing. You won’t like what comes abutting afterwards America.”

A few added things. He aimed to be a vegetarian but fabricated exceptions every time my wife fabricated her Yemenite lamb soup. One Passover seder, he testified to the allowances of yoga and showed us poses, including continuing on his head. He admired the music at Ohr HaTorah (handcrafted by our music director, the rebbetzin). One year, he brought all of the singers and not a few of the musicians on his bout to our Aerial Holy Canicule services. We saw him at one point continuing up and dancing. I apprehend from his “Book of Mercy,” and do so every year.

Leonard and Judaism

People asked how could he be Jewish if he was a Buddhist monk. He told me Zen Buddhism, at atomic the affectionate that he practiced, was not a religion. It was a affability angle for consciousness. He was a adherent Jew, a learned, abysmal and afflicted one — a genius. He had candles lit every Shabbat. I accustomed photos of candles lit on the tours.

Once aback he was at the abbey with Zen adept Roshi up at Mount Baldy, a accumulation of Chabad guys trekked up there during Chanukah to acknowledgment him to Judaism. They begin him in his robes, I anticipate he told me. He told them to shush, took them to his quarters. His Chanukah candles were sputtering. They had brought some whiskey with them. He had artificial cups. And again he told them about his Judaism and his attentive path. The way that Eliezer told me the story, they got mellow, sang and danced. The Chabad guys larboard a bit drunk, added than annoyed that the abbot was still Jewish, and maybe a little chastened.

Farewell

One day, with his children’s permission, maybe I will be able to address about that chat that began with “Hamlet.” As I address these words, my affection is too heavy, too broken. I knew Leonard’s body and feel it in my own. He knew mine. I anticipate he approved me out to acquaint me his version, and arrive me to acquaint him mine. I saw us as a brace of quasi-Sabbatean Neo-Chasidic kabbalists administration a thick, aphotic night in that “Bunch of Lonesome Heroes”:

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